Spy microphone & cam planted by abuser

[Rafaello15]

Has anyone had Spy microphone & cam planted in the home by their abuser?
My husband planted microphones and cams in most rooms in the house to listen to me and my children, since many years now. First time I realised was in (detail removed by moderator), when he knew what I spoke on the phone to (detail removed by moderator), and he blurted it out without me even telling him I made the call (detail removed by moderator)! Since then me & my children get many hints he listens to us. He gives it away by talking about the same things that very same day we have talked about in his absence, and it cannot be coincidence every time, it’s so obvious. He feels jealous when I am talking to even my children, he feels very insecure and many times says I am brainwashing my children; as he knows he is controlling, abusing towards me, he feels I would tell them? But they see it all.

I tried telling the police about it, but they don’t seem to care about anything. Has anyone tried finding them spy bugs out? I tried apps, I tried buying those bug detectors of ebay and trying to find them, but no luck.

Professionals that detect bugs & some bug detectors are so so expensive, and not an option.

Please help. Need to find peace & get rid off these bugs.

[Wants To Help]

Hi Rafaello 15,

This is a very tricky situation to deal with and I understand how intrusive it is for you too. Secretive spy ware is so easy to install now and cheap to buy and comes in all sort of disguises. Listening devices often need to have some power to keep them going, so these can be disguised as part of a home security system that are ‘hidden’ in plain site, or battery operated, or plugged in to the wall that may look like a plug adaptor. double plug socket or air freshener. Have a look at ALL of your plug sockets around the house and see what is in them and what they are used for/attached to. Are there screws in the screw holes or are they actually hollow as microphones?

Check your smoke alarms. If your partner has installed them you can take them down and ask your local fire service to come and install some for you for free so you know they do not have spyware in them. Have a look at your ornaments around the house, is there anything new that you don’t recognise? A new photo frame, the spines of books on shelves etc?

With regards to your mobile phone and a computer, you can re-set them to factory settings to get rid of any apps that have been put on them secretly, but this would also mean you can lose a whole lot of information and files etc, so you would need to back anything up to an external storage device first.

Lots of people are now using video doorbells and internal cameras linked to the internet via an app as their home security and these all have two way communication built in. The police cannot deal with this type of security as ‘coercive control’ because a person does have a right to install them in to a home they have legal access/rights to live in, but sometimes, the intention that they are installed for is not to monitor burglars/criminal activity, it is to monitor a partner and listen to their conversations, check on what time they leave the house, return to the house, visitors etc. The external cameras can pick up sounds outside, so even if you are trying to have a private phone conversation in the garden it can be listened in to in real time without you being aware.

It can be very hard to eliminate every possible source of spy ware though and I can’t imagine what it must be like to live like this.

Best wishes,

xx

[Strongenough]

Hi Rafaello15,

Yes I lived like this for years, once found a camera recording me and my ex abuser blamed a staff member of planting it! I also had devices recording my phone calls. I couldn’t tell anyone as I felt that they would think I was paranoid or that I had watched too many movies. My ex abuser would slip up and mention things I knew he couldn’t possibly know without recording my calls or movements in the home.

The only way I got away from this was when I left but a good trick is to turn off the WiFi when he is out, any house cameras freeze and stop recording.

[Ariadne]

Hi Strongenough,

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I can only imagine how paranoid you must feel of having him listening in/watching you all the time. I thought I had a similar situation in the past (kind of false alarm), and just that made me feel so panicky.
You already got great tips from WantstoHelp, and I would just add that you also open your phone case to make sure that the bug is not physical. Maybe take it to a store to check. Anything that you can have professionals take a look at to make sure it’s not bugged would be good.

All the best <3

[Strongenough]

Thanks Ariadne,

I’ve missed the bus on that one, once I left I got all new devices because at that stage I just wanted to shed everything that associated me to him. In hindsight I should have got things checked out for evidence but at the time my focus was to just get far away. Having your privacy invaded is awful but I take pleasure in all the recordings he must have had to listen to me in the car on my way to work singing power ballads in my terrible singing voice 🤣.

[Rafaello15]

Hi All,

Thank you for your advices, so grateful for it.
So sorry to hear ‘Strongenough’ you also suffered the same. It’s like you literally don’t have any privacy in your own home, it is awful. But glad you left. I had him out of the house once For a while before he begged & crawled back, but all the time I was worried he is still listening to my every move! And he was he even hacked my cctv.

You’re so on point ‘Wants to help’ and believe me your advice helped me understand more, screenshot taken for reminder.
I have started to change double plugs & adaptors etc in one room that me and my children mostly use. Next will check screw holes in the plugs etc & book shelfs. The Smoke alarms are Electrical & were fitted by previous owner. He does change the back up batteries when needed.
Your also right about the home security stuffs. I had got cctv installed only outside for security, no sounds though, he tried his best to get access on the app to monitor us, not the house off-course. When he didn’t get access on the app then he hacked it. And also insisted on getting Ring doorbell so he can monitor us further I guess.

I did explain to the Police officers what is planted & where. But they were not ready to believe anything. As from his hints I know theres one spy cam and the rest are microphones.
I am working on the devices to back them up etc, getting them ready for clean up.
Thanks
Warm wishes.

[Twisted Sister]

HI Rafaello15

This sounds horrific, having zero privacy, and all your actions/words watched. You sound very strong, despite all thats been happening to you, and yes, I agree, the first thought that most of the population would have is ‘paranoia’, which is hugely disheartening, especially from the police, when we are all fully aware of how easy it is for those with evil intent to get hold of surveillance devices.

I am worried for you though! Are you changing power sockets yourself?! I hope you are getting an electrician to do this as it sounds extremely dangerous for you, you’d only have to touch the wrong wire, or put wires back incorrectly/touching each other for you to potentially be at risk of electric shock from using the sockets? If you’re an electrician, then you know what you’re doing, ignore me 🙂

I hope you find what you are looking for and can take his arse to court over stalking you.

warmest wishes

ts

[Rafaello15]

Hi Twisted Sister,

Thank you lovely, but rest assured I am not changing the sockets; only the extensions and double plugs etc. The sockets has not been touched by him & I am sure, he cannot do it. Although I can do some DIY works, over the years taught myself the basic stuffs, as he won’t do any repairs or housework, I had to either do it by myself – the small jobs or get someone to do it.

It is awful to live like this with zero privacy, but I have no other option as I have young Adult children, so I will have to learn to be strong and get our freedom & privacy back.

I hope I can take him to court over it, but everyone I spoke to don’t seem to give any hope in that.

Take care.

[Twisted Sister]

oh Phew! I am relieved to hear this Rafaello15, desperation can push us to extreme measures 🙂

I think I was confused when you said double plugs, as I don’t know of such a thing so assumed you were talking about double plug sockets.

Good for you. We learn a lot when with abusers who refuse to do anything, and it comes back to bite them on the bum! 😀

Keep strong

warmest wishes

ts

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