started leaving

[Sadie]

His hands around my throat were the point at which I had had enough. I have rung the helpline who put me on to my local helpline. I wentto a drop in session. Got legal advice. All so much better than I thought. Looks like I get to go home with my child and more moneythan he thinks. Opened my new sole bank account. Made appt with solicitors. Need to transfer some money before he knows. Decision was still hard. Pretty sure i have made it. Did stay/divorce list. Basically staywas that he’d be sad/hurt. Well he’s brought it on himself. Just in case i had wobbled he was nasty to our child earlier. He’s been trying really hard to convince me all is normal. He hasn’t mentioned the lastincident nor so much as apologised. I also have saidnothing. must be killinghim.
And breathe.
I feel like I may get out.

[KIP.]

Good for you. I bet hes had chance after chance. They always lie about finances. In fact they lie about everything x

[Peaceful Pig]

That’s wonderful. You sound so strong. Keep checking that list if you wobble or he changes tactics. Keep everything safe and be prepared for every possibility. You can do this! Xx

[Sadie]

Thanks ladies
yes he has had cha.
nce after chance. I have decided that I will not tolerate his behaviour any more.
Yes he lies and makes up stories.
Not feeling strong.
Decided but not strong.
I’ve gone back to that list though then he was a b*****d again.
I was nearly tearful in the bank but clear eyed and calmwhen I rang for solicitors appt.
He has carried on sorting house for selling for familyto move abroad to my home country.

[Sadie]

I told him that I want a divorce.
He was shocked. Said I can’t go on. He said he knew he had f****d up. He was sorry.He does not want a divorce. He apologised for wasting decades of my life. He pleaded over and over forone more chance. for my help. Wanted comfort of my hug. It was all just hideous.
Wants to take me out for meal to talk [detail removed by moderator].
I can feel myself wobble.
Not yet made solicitor’s appt to start proceedings.
Ihave been sharing a bed still. Will send a message by sorting alternative sleeping arrangements in another room tomorrow.
He’s been rather nice since I told him. How long till heaccepts it and then hhow awful will he be?
I’m also still in a bit of denial that he is an ‘abuser’ and that I have been suffering ‘abuse’. I keep wondering if I give himone more chance he will change his behavior having been faced with really losing me. does he know whathe is doing or is it subconscious and it’s just the way he is?

[Sadie]

I did get free advice session at solicitor but need to go back with doc’s and flat fee to do forms.

[Ayanna]

I wish you strength. You can do this. Stay in touch with Women’s Aid and ring Rights of Women for legal questions. x*x

[Sadie]

Thank you Ayanna

Women’s Aid put me in touch with my local council’s DV unit. My contact there has been supportive.

It’s hard. He is so so sorry. Pleading with me. It is sinking in tgathat I meanit.

We are both exhausted.

[Author]

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