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    • #15089

      It is all about staying quiet. If I dare mention anything or ask him to speak, I get the stern look and the stern voice, as if I was Oliver daring to ask for some more Sir!!!

      I have been criticised for wanting to speak yet because I don’t, I get criticised for saying nothing…I receive texts about the first statement and texts about the second one.

      Should I talk or not? Oh but I forget, the moment I mention the recent past he gets so annoyed, his facial expression is pure anger and then the mouth goes on about how I haven’t changed one bit despite promising I would…I never did! Change what?

      Today I freaked out too, he touched me as he was trying to go past me, I took his gesture as a sign of ownership…right round my waist towards my upper torso. I am being offered ”baits” at the moment, things that need doing are getting done…But how long will his nice attitude last? And if I do mention something such as the fact that he doesn’t give me any money, not even an allowance, which is something that I must sort out one way or another, how will he react? I have to ask him to buy all the things I need and I try not to ask for anything…He has control over all the financial things at home now, bills, mortgage, food, services… The lot!

      And our boys…they speak so much like him.

    • #15098
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hi Hun

      This is so not a way to live, your post reminds me of my ex,nothing u do is right, us peak u do there head in, u stay quiet, your sulking, never a right way, i have left my ex but my eldest mirrors his beahviour as thats all he has seen,s im constantly working with agencies to get through to my son that his behaviour is wrong, i even reguarly tell him, would u not consider going back to refugee, my ex just kept upping and upping the abuse, it really is the worst life, hardest bit is admitting there is no right way to behave with them as its a game for them to wind us up

    • #15106
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Hi xx

      If I answered back “You always have to have the last word”, if I said nothing “You lost your spirit”. I’d drift in to my head to keep safe.

      Sadly because I stayed both my children abuse me and I’m the one in the wrong,I hope in time they will wake up and smell the roses.

      I can remember the way he’d poke me during the day I knew that would want more later.

      Mine would stay nice until I let my guard down that could be days and at times months he was like a cat playing with a mouse, the waiting is the worse. As time would go on I would doubt myself that he was abusive, that I had blown it out of proportion, it must be me… Then woosh I’d get it again.

      Its no way to live you deserve better.

      FS xx

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