Staying strong

[Finallysomethingclicked]

So I’m struggling with the no contact. It’s been a few months and he’s still verbally abusing me really disgusting and I just take it like it’s normal.i cry daily after his contact.

Talking to a friend last night and he convinced me to delete all numbers emails etc- I wasn’t strong enough to do it before.and it was a good idea after some wine

So this morning I’m crying like an idiot because I have no way to contact him and he lives miles away I don’t drive.
I know this is good this is what I need so why the hell does it hurt so d**n much

My life is better me and my kids are finally happy I have an interview for a second job (detail removed by Moderator) as mines part time( I wasn’t allowed to work a lot) so we will be financially better too.

I can do this right it gets easier with no contact you all say ,just feels like I’ve torn off a plaster too soon.

Sorry just needed to get it out there how I feel I think friends think deleting contact numbers will solve my problems but am I am grateful he made me delete well I will be eventually.
Sorry for the waffling inadvance

Fsc x

[Anonymous]

Hi Fsc Please stay no contact, please. I tried so hard to do it & kept failing, It really held me back from starting to heal, it is the most difficult thing in the world to do, but is so essential. I’ve now managed couple months & still struggle badly but I am determined to eventually remove all that trauma, They never stop & any contact will just hold you back from moving forward. Breaking away was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.. It is a scary lonely place to be, I spend hours crying, shaking, Reliving its horrible Be strong & keep the no contact rule it is hard but you are worth so much more, we all are x

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Thank you for the reply blueberry.
Yes I’m determined this time I’ve been free months and I’ve just been sat in the same place I just want to move forwards and I know that has to be without him.

I couldn’t ever go back to that life and he will never be the man I desperately want him to be so it’s time to let go. I’ve tried no contact but always kept his number hoping he would wake and be a changed man
– so stupid

I’ve just come to a point where for (detail removed by Moderator) I’ve been sat waiting and breaking my heart over someone who doesn’t care who enjoys hurting me now I’m ready to try this it has to be better at least now I will cry for a purpose I’m fixing myself and grieving for my marriage. I want to be happy truly happy not the decade of pretending to be.I have days when I am now and it feels great

Thanks for listening
And giving me hope xx

[Alicenotichains]

FSC,

Wow- well done for deleting the numbers. My friend tried to suggest I deleted yesterday but it felt like I am not ready. I know she is right and I will do when I feel I can. I have stuck to no contact but I was crying a lot this weekend- I keep having flashbacks of nice things he has said and done. It’s like torture. I am determined not to contact him as it will hurt my kids more and that is a major boundary for me now- I am starting to dread next weekend as that is when I feel worse. Last night I had awful nightmares that I was looking for him but I couldn’t find him. It’s just so hard but I am trusting the process and the advice of those who have gone before me that this approach will purge him from my life xx hugs xx

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Hi Alice

Yes I totally understand where your at it’s been so hard for me too. I felt so low this morning but tbh it’s been a good day a little housework mowed the lawn anything to stop thinking I’ve even laughed I feel so relaxed. He just can’t hurt me now.well it will be harder for him.

I know I will have bad days but at least for today I’ve taken a bit of his power away he can’t talk to me like that anymore I’m not listening.

You will get there you have to do it when your ready. And yes I’m listen to all the ladies who have gone before me I’m ready to say enough I won’t let him do this anymore I want to be happy I’m not when I’m constantly letting him hurt me and play his sick games.

Be kind to yourself you will know when your ready don’t force it. I did and broke contact so many times.

Big hugs xx

[wakingup]

Hi All,

It’s so hard when you still love them. I’m still living in the same house while it’s sold and he still tries to hurt me by taking somebody away for the night and leaving all the evidence. The worse thing it was my birthday weekend and he never takes me anywhere. He’s never give me a thing or cherished me. The last few weeks I haven’t cooked, cleaned, washed and the house is a mess. I just live in the back bedroom. You see he moved his daughter and her baby in the day we put the house on the market and together they’ve destroyed it. So I’ve been taking things I paid for and that belong to me. It’s not a home now it’s just a house. It was me who made it a home. They’ve give me no money for the bills and they’re basically squatting. You will always love them and always think about the nice things but I’m sure if you sit there and think they were few and far between. I’d get given a little love then he would take it away and leave me wanting more. He never had a kind word to say to me. I am frantic at the moment still checking things going through his stuff when he’s not in and all it does is hurt me. He’s not bothered leaving it for me to find still hurting me. I just want to be normal again and know what normal is.

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