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Had a lovely message this morning from his Mum. I had had enough of her clearly not knowing from comments on FB, and was concerned that she would accidently find out we had separated so I phoned her myself a while after it all kicked off. While she was shocked she hs been supportive and lovely. She knows there was abuse – verbal (i didnt tell her about the sexual abuse).
He *still* has said nothing. She proposed that may be because of his Dad’s ill health and while I think that may be a small consideration, I strongly belive that he wouldnt have told if they were hale and hearty – its an excuse hes telling himself as to why he hasnt told them.
I feel so bad for them. To know this is going on and yet your son hasnt contacted you to let you know whats going on. They are wondering where they went wrong. They have no answers and only know the small amounts I’ve been able to tell. Being the empath I am I cant bring myself to say ‘bad’ things about people, so cant pull the scales from their eyes the way they were pulled from mine – to expose the manipulative abusive man that their son is.
Its got me in pieces…
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Snap!
I had to go round and tell parents-in-law myself too. I did not go into any detail. They have an idea that he can be rather difficult to live with as he is not always been able to hid his nastiness when we’ve been together.
He has still not discussed pending divorce with anyone, as far as I know, certainly not with our child. Which is odd as we all still live together.
His dad is not well either. but I couldn’t bear to go through the Christmas period lying to them – we see a lot of them over this time normally.
I can’t tell her just how awful her son has been to me and to our child over the years – in a way I wonder if it would be any use to anyone for them to be so disappointed and hurt. They have dysfunctional relationships with their other two grown up children – I’m not sure if I hold them to blame for contributing to the origins of his behaviour, or not.
Anyway, how awful your mother-in-law feels about him is not your fault because you told her. It’s his fault because he chose to behave like (detail removed by Moderator).
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