Still hit by the low's

[WesternCloud]

Anyone else find that they have days where they feel super strong and positive about what they have done and then others where your silly broken heart misses them? The hollowness and fear that you are mourning them and yet they are done and dusted with you. It makes no sense, I left him. He suppressed me and emotionally manipulated me and isolated me from my family and friends and yet I am sat here crying because I miss him. Do I miss him or the false romantic notion of him? I find it such a struggle, always hits me the same time of day as well, does anyone else find this? Oh my silly soul, I don’t want to feel like this anymore 🙁

[Finallysomethingclicked]

I’m not much help tonight but yes I hate him so much but I still cry for him and miss him terribly and he’s moved on long ago 😭 X

[fizzylem]

Yes, I kicked him out and mourned the loss of him and everything that went with being in a close relationship with someone, I got to the point where I knew it wasn’t possible to have a relationship with this man, but at that time I still felt I loved him but that he had to go, until I finally saw it all for what it really was, a web of lies and false promises, as hard as it was to face that he never really loved me, he only wanted what he could take from me, I am so thankful I got there, all of the illusions I had created were gone, and I was left with the naked truth and it set me free. I no longer long for the part of him I loved, I see him more as whole person now and someone I strongly dislike, he has after all shown me who he really is now, I loved a small part of who he was, who he could be, but the rest was awful. I wanted him to love me and I lived for too long in the hope that he would and it would feel right one day; instead of listening to myself when it felt wrong, this only prevented me from being real and in touch with me and my true emotions; my abuser did just as yours, he used my vulnerabilities against me, the things I would only share with what I thought was my best friend, he used each one he learnt to bring me down, win a fight, silence me, or as venom to cause me emotional hurt, this is not loving someone, this is abusing them. Love and abuse do not go together – ever. I had bags of romantic notions / illusions – and they were all mine, and they only served to keep the abuse going, he pretended that we were the same, to get what he wanted, it turns out we were not the same in anyway, we never really shared any of the hopes and dreams – I can see now how he agreed and went along with me to see how far it would get him.

[Confused123]

Hi

I think its the pretend them thwat we miss, its more about us de-attaching ourselves from them, we ar e crying for what they put us through, i dont think we really miss them cause if we ask ourselves what is it we miss, i think the answer willbe we dont know, cause they just left us in tears

[Anabela]

I do feel so mixed up. Sometimes I feel I really love him. But when we hug or get intimate I just can’t stop thinking about all the things he has done or said. And I feel like crying. Or when I feel just about ready to break away, I just get this feeling of mourning our relationship. I remember all my hopes and expectations, and nice romantic moments from the beginning, ‘the good times’.
Like today, I did not feel in this missing mood. but then I switched my computer on, and I had left some youtube video playing with mixed songs in the morning, and the first thing I hear – the song that he introduced me to and made me really like it when we just met.
And this is what’s stopping me from running away. I am scared I will never forget him….. But at the same time, I am missing the person I thought I knew, while still being in this relationship.

[Author]

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