This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  fizzylem 1 week, 1 day ago.

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  • #115055
     Oliverainbow 
    Participant

    Hi Everyone. It’s been a long time since I’ve posted with everything that’s been happening. I wanted to touch base incase anyone has been through anything similar.

    To go back, the last time I posted my ex was refusing to bring our son home because he was punishing me. After speaking to the police and Early Help, they was unable to help me as there was no residence order. I finally got the courage to collect our son from nursery after a few weeks and my ex partner was waiting outside incase he saw me and blocked me in so I couldn’t leave. I had to call the police and at the same time he called the police/ambulance. When the services arrived, he tried to convince them he was hurt but luckily I had a video recording and the police could see right through it so they let me go home with our son.

    My ex kept texting to ask to collect our son and because he didnt like that he was losing control, unbeknownst to me, he followed me and when I reached my destination, he assaulted me.

    As I was advised not to have contact due to the incident, he called SS in an attempt to take our son. I continued to listen to the services and not have contact with him for a period of time.

    I guess part of me has lost faith in the justice system and I wonder if I should have even bothered to speak out about the DV i experienced whilst we were together and the continued control and abuse since our split.

    CAFCASS have spoken to me but I’m worried that they wont believe me as my ex partner can be very manipulative and charming.

    I dont understand how someone can be so malicious and lie so much when I havent done anything wrong. Since we split, I havent been allowed to move on and he has threatened me that I can’t, but he has a new girlfriend and baby, both of which I knew nothing about, and he still wont leave me alone. I was able to have online therapy during lockdown and I have a solicitor and womens aid support worker.

    Thank you for reading, to release what’s inside is kind of a weight off my shoulders. I just wanted to ask if anyone else has dealt with continuous lies against them and how they managed. X

  • #115100
     Lisa 
    Main Moderator

    Welcome back Oliverainbow, I hope it helped to offload to us. Sorry to hear of everything you have been through due to your ex, I am pleased to hear you have support in place. I am sure others will be able to relate to your situation, please do keep posting to us when you can.

    Best wishes,

    Lisa

  • #115375
     littlebluebowl 
    Participant

    I can relate, some days are harder than others. I Just have to keep telling myself this cannot be forever, its hard to not think that the lies are gonna be believed but try and stay positive. Remember you are strong, even stronger when it comes to your kid. They are worth all the hard times, just to see them happy and safe. good luck, keep going. This is just the now, now is not forever… i know that’s hard to remember at times, but take a deep breathe, cry if you need to then brush yourself down and carry on. now is not forever.

  • #115383
     fizzylem 
    Participant

    Hi, sounds like you have had a tough time and are trying to deal with an extremely manipulative and abusive man. I think they do get away with lying in family court, a great deal, but with criminal charges not so much as it’s based on evidence. I found the best thing I could do is to stay calm and not buy into or react to his lies and BS narrative, this only gives it some validity, as far as I’m concerned I have my expereince and that is all. The good thing about a liar is that they do slip up as inconsistancies occur; sadly, they do maniplulate and utilise services and professionals to try and cause us stress and distress, state intrusion, and anything else at their disposal hey. I don’t respond to anything nowadays, him or others, unless someone asks me a question. Hang in there. No contact really is best x

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