Still struggling

[Gazebo]

I haven’t posted for a while but still struggling so much 🙁 and still don’t see a way out. This week he’s been sending me links to pills to increase my libido it’s makes me want to cry and feel so sick he just won’t understand I have no drive and I really don’t want to have sex I do 1/2 a week just so he doesn’t get on at me but it’s never enough. I’m really not sure how I’m keeping going – my little ones I think but I’m struggling. He’s so moody at the moment and negative about everything it’s so draining I’m so tired from pretending to be happy. Not sure what to do at the moment xx

[Eggshells]

Hi Gazebo

You’re in a horrible situation and no, however much you give him, it will never be enough.

Men like your partner use sex as a control technique and he’ll always want more control. When you consent to sex due to coercive control, it is rape and if he is already doing this to you, it may not beong before he takes to pinning you down and forcing himself on you whilst you plead and beg for him to stop.

Nothing and no-one will ever be good enough for him, so as long as you are with him, he will always be negative. He’ll tear everyone apart behind their backs.

His moods will be affecting your children.

I can’t remember if you have a keyworker?

[Gazebo]

I don’t have a key worker my doctor knows what’s going on but she can just give advice and someone to talk to. I feel so low but desperately try not to show this in front of my children. He has already started to get more rough with sex pulling my hair etc I think he think I like it but I don’t but I worry he’s doing it because he knows I don’t want to be having sex at all – he says you should want to your my wife. He gets home and says (detail removed by Moderator) it’s makes me cringe inside. I don’t think the boys are suffering but my little does say to stop arguing you two which does make me sad so am trying to not bicker in front of them now. I just wish it was all easy and I could just tell him to go.

[nbumblebee]

@gazebo my heart goes out to you it really does im here too. Just this morning i had to as if i said no again he would get nasty and i am jjst so beaten i wanna have a quiet day. This is so hard to cope with isnt it makes you feel dirty and even lower than you already do. I find this so hard to cope with too I guess thats why they do it to us its another way to degrade and make is feel bad about ourselves. Im pants at advice but if i were to try id tell you to talk to your dr again see if they can offer you someone to talk too someone who can help you gain the confidence to maybe get out or to face up to what he is doing to you. Talk to women aid see if they can help you are on here so you are already braver than you know how much bravery it must have taken to tell your dr is beyond me well done so now take another step further. You and your kids deserve so much better sweetie what he is doing to you is abuse it is wrong it is harmful hurtful and you deserve so so much better.
Remember you are not alone people here have got you and you can do this. Reach out just a little bit more sweetie. Good luck sending you hugs x

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