Still struggling

[Everhopeful321]

All the ways that he is control of me come from insecurity on his part – huge fears about what other people think of him, what they say about him. We live in quite an isolated place, work is home, home is work, days can go without him leaving the (removed by moderator). But he says he feels safe here, no one can get to him but equally he doesn’t feel safe if I’m not here. I feel trapped, I believe there’s more to life and I want our children to see that. But I don’t know how to get out because I feel so guilty that he will then be alone.

[KIP.]

His control doesn’t come from insecurity. It comes from abuse. It’s a choice he makes and he controls you through fear, obligation and guilt. He may use many excuses for his behaviour which is very typical of an abuser. Talk to your local womens aid. Read Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven.

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