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    • #18670

      And when I broke the silence on whatever day, hell emerged.
      Then on whatever morning, more text perpetuating the cycle of abuse with words around pity, his self esteem, the woman he “wanted” back, how I need to be less angry with him and forgive, how I stop the situation moving forward, another typical expression of his…
      He is a bundle of contradiction.
      And once again it will all be used by my teenager against me with SS…
      It’s always easier to shift the blame on the easier target and my husband uses this tactic.
      Maybe I should be using the total silent treatment instead…play games.
      It’s called no contact. You can’t reason with a man like that.

    • #18681

      I am so sorry that you are going through this 🙁
      You are totally right, you can’t reason with a man like that!
      I think it is a pattern of most / all abusers that they try to put the blame back on you, saying you need to ‘be less angry and forgive him’. Mine tells me I focus on the negative all the time and all I want is drama, when he is the most negative and dramatic person I have ever met, at least to me not to all the other women 🙁
      A technique I read about if no contact is not a viable option at the moment (although it is clearly the best option) is the ‘Gray rock method’. I will post a link below but if links are not allowed then just google it and it will come up 🙂

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