Stood my ground

[Losingbattle]

So today seemed to be going well. Until about (detail removed by moderator). I’d made our (detail removed by moderator) kids some food but our little boy was refusing to eat. Demanding I’d cut up his food even though I had done. So my husband began shouting at him threatening to Bray him. He then called him a c*** and a p****. Our son is (detail removed by moderator) so I snapped and told him how he shouldn’t be calling him those names. It led to an argument where he blamed me for starting an argument. But I refused to back down. No way was I letting him call our son these things. Hes a mummy’s boy so I sat cuddling him while my husband called him mummy’s little p***. I’ve fallen out with him. I’ve told him it’s not on and not to expect me to apologise when I’m not the one in the wrong. Hes given me the silent treatment all night and gone to bed ignoring me.

[KIP.]

That’s child abuse and could cause serious mental health problems for your child. A child should feel secure and nurtured. Please speak to women’s aid as soon as possible. He’s jealous and will try to break your bond. He will use your child to hurt you. This is what they do.

[Newst@rt]

you say he’s a mummy’s boy but I imagine that’s because he feels safe with you and not with his dad

[fizzylem]

Please report this to the NSPCC; you need to get this incident recorded and support in place for dealing with this man. Please don’t do nothing, really feel you need to act. I know you feel you’ve told him it’s not on but I’m pretty sure he will not have listened – he will do as he pleases regardless won’t he? You and your little boy need protectig and for this to stop – to never happen again. Please get help, he’s crossed the line and there is no moving forwards together now is there x

[Lisa]

Hi there Losingbattle, I am sorry to hear this. You are right to be taking this very seriously. It is completely unacceptable for him to treat your child like this; it is very cruel. Unfortunately, as the others have already suggested this kind of behaviour can have such a negative impact on children and their well being.

As you already know, you can access some support from a local domestic abuse service. If you are not already in touch with them you can find their details here.

Best wishes

Lisa

[Losingbattle]

Thanks everyone. I feel awful about it all. I feel like I’m somehow to blame. Yet he hasn’t shown any remorse

[KIP.]

You are absolutely not to blame for his behaviour. He chooses to behave this way. Abusers have a sense of entitlement. Have you read Living with the Dominator? Please contact your local women’s aid. These men never change and abuse always gets worse.he has no remorse. He should never have behaved this way in the first place but he knows exactly what he’s doing and he chooses that behaviour because it makes him feel good.

[Kitkat44]

Hi Losing battle,
Just wanted to let you know I’ve been in tour situation. My husband falls out with one of our boys and it is having a hideous effect on me and him ( anxiety and similar behaviour to his dad towards siblings) and our other children are very distressed when it occurs.
I’ve started standing up to him and then we’ve fallen out and he doesn’t seem to feel it’s his fault. He takes things away from our son to try and change his behaviour but can’t or doesn’t seem to see that he needs to change. I’ve tried talking to him about it in a calm moment but feel we don’t get very far.
My local women’s Center feel I need to be fit about how I feel and if he then kicks off to call the police. I’m not in a place to do this right now, feel very low.
Hope you and your little ones are ok.
Xx

[Losingbattle]

I know what I need to do. I just need to find the strength and look at support. I just hope with my children being the age they are that they don’t remember any of this growing up

[Author]

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