Strange episode – what is it?

[Bananaboat]

Earlier I was relaxing and started to think about the money my ex owes me & our child. I got angry because I’m struggling a bit with repayments at the minute (all his debt of course but in my name) and the fact he isn’t providing in any way for our child.

I imagined what I’d like to say to him, this became almost real like he was at my house and I remember standing up off the bed and then picturing him infront of me kicking off, me standing up to him and then him being nasty & threatening towards me. I stood my ground and pictured him driving off like a madman and my neighbours seeing. I went downstairs to get some water and started to shake, as if this had been real.

My brain went totally foggy and started to think of all the things I’d need to do next if this was real. I had to remind myself I’m safe, it hadn’t happened. It was like a flashback, or out of body experience but this hasn’t happened (yet anyway) but it’s definitely triggered something. Is this PTSD maybe, or stress related (had an awful lot going on in recent months which I can’t fully list as it’ll be moderated but involves job, family & health, money – stress stress stress!), a form of disassociation maybe?

Probably one for an GP but has anyone else experienced vision like non-flashbacks? And how do you manage them? Weird and now I feel physically drained x

[nbumblebee]

Im not sure im gonna help here but id like to try. I have similar when he is bad or he thretens me once things calm down i sit and imagine what ifs and sometimes they seem so real i can end up shaking or crying and i have to remind myself that bit didnt happen. Its another reason why i always doubt myself and I like to write things down as they happen so i know im not getting all confused. I wonder if it to do with being gaslighted? Your brain finds things so hard cause after all the years of abuse you have been through it can still even now get mixed up confused and goes into rescue mode.
If you are having a rough time at the mo maybe it has triggered that part of your brain again.

Nkt much help but I wanted to try.

Take it easy sweetie look after you xxxx

[Bananaboat]

Thank you! You might be right, my brain is trying to figure stuff out and always thinking how to cope with the worst of it happened so I’m prepared. There’s been so much going on I think it might be short circuiting a bit. xx

[Hereforhelp]

Hey BB, I sometimes catch myself ruminating about past things my husband did/put me or kids through and I start to feel dizzy, like vertigo… I did see my GP and apparently it is linked to a stress reaction with me… I am hoping to go on a course or receive help to stop my mind ruminating.

I don’t have any advice, just my own experience.

Hugs HFH ❤️

[Bananaboat]

Thank you that’s really helpful to know! I’ve gone dizzy a few times on walks recently which is when my brain definitely whizzes off and ruminates on him or other issues. I’ve often wondered if maybe I was so caught up I forgot to breathe or something haha but I definitely wouldn’t be surprised if my stress level was sky high.

Been working alone a lot recently and I find it so hard to contact my GP too but think I should xx

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