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Got a phone call from the police to say he wants to collect his stuff. His bail conditions have been lifted so they won’t attend. (Still waiting for cps to decide if he’s being charged or not.)
Got a friend to be there with me and plan to just leave his stuff outside, but I’m really stressed.
Bet you all £10,000 he alleges some of his stuff is missing or broken.
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hi there – to try to relieve the stress know your plan like you know your enemy. let him pick his stuff up – if he taps the door ignore it if he keeps on and wont leave id still call the police as it would be harassment which wont look good for him. if he gets in touch to say his stuff is broken missing ignore him xx your going to apprehensive but pre-empting what youll do if he does xyandz might help xx love diymum
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Hi Landy I second what DIY wrote. Also take pictures or a video of his things and packing them up for him, your proof you didn’t break or cut the sleeves out of All his clothes🤣🤣 having a friend or two with you is very good thinking, don’t under any circumstances let him talk you into being alone with him. Leave his things outside, (you’ll have it in binbags anyway) even if it’s raining. It’s only water so he can do a wash if he has to😊 that’s if he knows how to use a washing machine😉 funny how when they plumb them in for you, they show you how to use it, but put clothes in it and detergent,.. total memory block. There’s no need for him to chap your door, but get one of your friends or put your own phone on record just in case anything goes south.
Good luck, looks like you and I have an iffy few days ahead of us.
IWMB 💞💞 -
His stuff has been packed for weeks. I have no plans to make an inventory. He has to prove I’ve stolen/ damaged his stuff and he won’t be able to because I haven’t. Without wishing to sound like a snob, he’s an unemployed alcoholic; he owns nothing of any value. Luckily now he’s been at his mum’s for a while (She had kicked him out, but he’s back there), his family 100% know how abusive he is. His mum has even apologised to me for not believing me when I told her what was going on. He has absolutely no allies left. It’s sad really But he did it.
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Thanks, FL. It’s taken a long time to get to this point, but now his family have finally seen the light, I am able to get rid of his stuff. Well, I could have just given him notice and binned it in the beginning, but I just couldn’t deprive him of his personal things.
I’m really looking forward to having my spare room back; to be honest, I haven’t been in it for weeks and weeks. It’ll make having friends and family to stay so much easier. No more z-bed!
It’ll be a relief for it to finally be gone. But pathetically, tinged with sadness. It really is the end and he is never going to accept that he has abused me, get treatment, get better, come home. For a long time I hoped he would. My hopes and dreams died when he got arrested that final time and I still can’t picture my future right now. I’m still on the day to day thing.
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Hi there. Please don’t waste your emotions on him. You will need all your energy for your recovery. If he fails to attend at the allocated time them can you dump all his stuff at his mums. That’s would have been my first choice. Then he needs not come near you. Yes, he will accuse you of damaging his stuff or missing stuff or leave some of his stuff and not take it all. Part of the game that’s why it’s better if you can dump his stuff. I do t like the attitude of the police. Just because he has no bail doesn’t mean he’s less dangerous and you need to protect yourself. Stay strong. It will get easier x
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My plan is to dump it at his mum’s if he doesn’t show.
As far as the police are concerned, I sometimes think they are waiting for him to seriously I jute me or kill me before they actually do anything.
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I’m glad to hear you’ve got people who can be with you, and somewhere to take his stuff if he doesn’t show up.
I agree, if you are able to, put his stuff outside. Unless he has a witnessed inventory he can’t really claim things are missing, or that they weren’t broken before. I shouldn’t worry about any accusations he might make there. They’ll be more empty words.
I also agree that if he starts up there’s nothing wrong in then calling the police. Particularly as you’ll have witnesses.
It’ll be nice getting the room in shape, I bet. Making it really nice for your guests. You’ll be able to put all those teensy little touches to it knowing they won’t get ruined. I’d be scouring Etsy and Pinterest for quirky or charming bits lol.
Hope it goes off smoothly.
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Thank you. I’ve loved having the freedom to have the things in the house that I like. He was so b****y controlling, he even hid some of the things I loved in the loft so I couldn’t have them around.
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