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    • #50391
      keepmovingfoward
      Participant

      im a nervous wreck today, (detail removed by moderator) will be dropping off his belongings. my abuser is still trying to control the situation. i am fearing physical retaliation from him. (detail removed by moderator) i didn’t want him to ever come back to the property. i will be spending most of tommorow going through the garage loading his stuff onto a van, in one sense it will allow me to move on. but another i am in pieces in case anyone gets hurt.

      im heading to my parents tonight after the children have gone to their dads, i dont want to be alone tonight.
      im not sure whether to get the police involved in case it all goes wrong, my dad will have help with him, he’s not going alone. my head is going in circles.
      any advice is appreciated? i dont have an injunction or any police file for abuse. but he does have an investigation underway for other things.

    • #50392
      endoftherainbow
      Participant

      You could phone the police and outline what’s going on? Just tell them your worried about possible trouble, they can put a marker on your address warning of domestic violence and that helps them respond quicker, or at least give you some advice. They might be able to be at his address when your dad gets there, iv found them very helpful. Good luck, hope all goes well x*x

    • #50408
      keepmovingfoward
      Participant

      my family did all the communicating for me, as im sure my abuser was actually the one doing the messaging not the mutual friend. the messages were getting very irrate and it was worrying me, but when they arrived with his stuff he was nice as pie with them. three of them; one of him. he still insisted it on being done a certain way round but it was sorted in the end.
      he tried to get a different family member to get a message to me but he stopped my abuser in his tracks and point blank refused to comply with him. i’m glad another door has closed, there are still a few items lurking about which i can deal with another time but a whole van load went today, (no furniture) just bagged belongings. how can someone generate so much junk in such a small amount of time?
      next step is divorce. feeling relieved

    • #50410
      KIP.
      Participant

      Sooo glad you got rid of his stuff. Even with bail my ex sent people round (detail removed by Moderator) times to ‘collect his belongings’. It was awful. Each time I thought they would take everything. How stupid was I. All gone now and no excuses for him to harass me that way. Just keep your family members in between you and him. My ex was such a coward when I’d had enough and got my family to dump it all at his door, he sent his new gf to answer the door. Cowardly lowlife. Happy that you’re free from him. Onwards and upwards 👍

    • #50416
      keepmovingfoward
      Participant

      That was my worry KIP, that he would come over himself and do it car load at a time, i wouldn’t stand for it. i dont ever want to see him again. the thought of it makes all the hairs on the back of my neck prickle up.
      and i know he would have taken his sweet time over weeks and months to do it and during that time i probably would have lost custody of the children.

      he seems to be in complete denial about his contribution to the separation at all, he won’t hear the words fall into his ears at all that describe his behaviour or his investigation that got us to this point. but i’m so glad its happened now and now further down the line as i think it would have been harder to get back up from.
      its affected me hard enough in the short time weve been together as it is. goodness what else could have happened, i fear it may have gotten more physically abusive.

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