strong urges be battered & ?

[Twisted Sister]

Cant stand it want to just get battered or whatever he wants to do to me so that it will all be over

[endoftherainbow]

I used to pray he would hit me… I knew then that it was the start of the end if that makes sense, while he was ranting or giving me the silent treatment it would be building up inside him like a volcano, but once the violence came out I knew that he would get rid of the anger and hopefully calm down. Its a terrible way to live and feel, im out of this situation now, sending hugs to you xx

[Amaguq]

Hi Karmasister,
Huggggggssssssss please ring the helpline, I identify with your post but please seek help, I promise, it will be the best move you make.

Bruises heal, but emotional scars are still there for me.

We only have one life, is it really worth to be so unhappy? the answer is a big fat NO.

Take care xx

[Twisted Sister]

The police are involved and at the moment he’s not here but it scares me because I feel like just offering myself up to it because it would be such a relief from this.

I kept thinking that if I have this urge then I must be the one who’s at fault as it seems so crazy (hate that word) but this is something you both feel and its easier to believe someone else but it still scares me.

I have spoken to someone today but when he’s back – well…it just worries me

[Amaguq]

Hi Karmasister,
Sending more hugggggsssssss, I can feel your inside screaming out 🙁 we all know that feeling, sadly 🙁

You certainly are not crazy, the abusers make us feel that way, they’re manipulative!

Glad the police are involved and you must call them if he gets angry when he gets back, please, call them.
Women’s Aid have helped me so much, like the ladies on here, you are not alone and by the way, I like your user name, Karmasister, take care and for once in your life, look after number 1, your safety is paramount xx

[Twisted Sister]

I have already fled and im this new situation after having left the other and now cant get out of here quick enough, but these urges are quite scarey (I do remember them from before).

It matters so much that its ‘normal’! Thank you

[endoftherainbow]

Glad you are out, getting out is hard, staying out is just as difficult I think, we seemed to be programed to accept the life we have, when I left I showed a friend some of the messages he had sent me, and she felt physically sick, it was like water off a ducks back to me, didn’t seem that bad, everything you feel is “normal”, its them that are not, you go through such highs and lows, its a wonder we cope, but we will, and we do, stay strong x*x

[teatime]

the abuse has made you think like this. You will get lots of help if you phone the Helpline .

[Twisted Sister]

Its no good, not going out for fear of seeing him. Its difficult to give details in case of being identified but he doesnt live with me, but very close.

Just hoping we will be gone soon as had finally been feeling some brain space from the previois stuff an working through it, but this brings it all back and the extreme stuff like these urges.

Thank you so much ladies for your supportive words and strength to you all thro it.

[Author]

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