Struggling

[Marmalade]

I am having a terrible day.
I do not want this post moderated so I will be as vague as possible and please don’t mention court cases in response as it will be moderated. Today I discovered police lied to me and have been breathtakingly incompetent.
The fact that we go to these people for help and they fail us is too awful.
The having to get up and fight again and again and again for our basic rights is crushing.
Good luck to everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Sorry you’re having a bad day @Marmalade. It’s terrible to find out these things about folks that should
Be on our side. You are strong and brave and amazing, and can absolutely get up and keep fighting.

[Scottish Thistle]

It’s very hard especially when there was such a big publicity stint for domestic abuse and to report, you finally thought you’d get the help you needed but didn’t always turn out that way.

There is things my ex did which he seemed to either get off with it in that the police didn’t warrant as an offence and no further action but then I’d read in the local paper people getting done for similar offences to my ex who got nothing done. What was so different to my report to the other persons? My only advice is to still log things with the police even if you just say you want it logged and then when you need proof you have it all logged with the police.

[Marmalade]

Thanks Scottish Thistle. I’m sorry you had that experience.
Yes I saw all the publicity saying report, we listen etc. I was really confident I had lots of evidence. I had such a terrible shock. I didn’t realise that, despite all the publicity, the rank and file have no training and, in my case, no experience. I did not expect to (summarising) be sneered at and told it was basically my fault for being so stupid as to stay in a relationship like that and no one would ever believe anyone who was so stupid.
Link that with total incompetence in investigating, failing even to do basics.
Anyway, after a period of being distraught, I’m pulling myself together and coming out fighting for my rights. The thought of my abuser toasting his luck down the pub at getting away with everything because I drew the short straw with my police officer, is unbearable.
I have no expectations now. I will see how far I get.
What is terrifying is that in some areas of the UK there is virtually no support for DA victims. It really shouldn’t depend on where we live.

[little-miss-sunshine]

Hi Marmalade,

I’m so sorry this happened to you. It really isn’t right, shouldn’t be a lottery as to whether you get help. I hope you’re proud of yourself for reporting anyway, despite what they say. You’re very brave and strong for fighting back. Hope you’re feeling ok today xx

[nbumblebee]

Hey sweetie I cant help with any advice but I wanted to just say we have to keep fighting when we fight we have hope and hope is what keeps us upright dont lose that. Thinking of you xxxx

[Author]

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