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    • #6297
      Inneedofsomepeace
      Participant

      Today we looked at the sexual controler and i have found it particularly hard.
      I can’t remember the last time i consented and didnt just comply. There were things i didn’t like that he did anyway he didn’t take no for an answer. He’d make me wear things i didn’t want to wear pass remarks give me a penny and tell me it was for the sex. Touch me when the kids were around. The last time i can’t evrn remember a thing. He is being investigated for rape and a**l rape. Yet i am still stuck with this idea that it couldnt be rape because he was my husband. And if i had been a better wife more willing things would have been different. Todays freedom programme has brought it all to the front again and i’m really struggling tonight. Sorry

    • #6302
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hi there,

      Just wanted to let you know that what you’re feeling is perfectly natural and exactly the same thoughts I had when my husband was investigated. Rape is such a horrific crime that our minds don’t want to go there, and the fact that it’s inconceivable that our husbands would do that to us causes confusion. The sad thing is that he chose to rape you, he chose to behave that way. None of this was your fault and you could have been the best wife in the world and your husband would just have found something else to hurt you about. Please stop blaming yourself. If you remember in the early days of the relationship when things were ‘normal’. If he had raped you, you would have gone to the police and reported him. Abuse creeps up on us until we think it’s normal. Don’t be so hard on yourself. And don’t take the guilt for him. It’s his actions and his guilt. It does get easier with time and no contact. Take baby steps❤️ Tomorrow will be a better day x

    • #6325
      Inneedofsomepeace
      Participant

      Thank-you kip. I can take that he hit me and strangled me I can take the emotional sideside although it is with a if I’d been like zyz not done this done that. I just find the whole sexualside so much harder. It’s also harder with it all in the air but hopefully now it has been passed to the cps there is a end in sight.

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