Struggling again

[onceuponadream]

I start to feel better but then I go backwards again. I’m still trying to get a divorce, (detail removed by moderator) after leaving, we are at the (detail removed by moderator) stage. (detail removed by moderator) but….years ago we both consented to an abortion, it was difficult but we agreed it was the right thing, (a part of me even back then was scared to have children with him with his behaviours) but we did it but you still have to have an ultrasound…w both didn’t want to see the screen or know details etc. So years past, life got worse and I was struggling with my mental health and physical pain and I had an appointment with Dr and they (detail removed by moderator) so i told my husband as it upset me. Now since I’ve left he has been talking about the baby and using that as an excuse for his behaviour, saying the affair was because of it, and putting it all over social media even though it was private. Saying how he seeing ghost of (detail removed by moderator) and he is demanding that I get him a (detail removed by moderator) even though I have told him I don’t want to see it or know dates I want it left in the past. I’ve told him if in the future I feel I need to get it I will provide him with a copy but right now I don’t want to so he is now holding the divorce agreement to ransom over this (detail removed by moderator). And I don’t know what to do, I really don’t want to go there and scared he will post it all over social media. I’m still struggling to accept the relationship was financially, emotionally and sexually abusive (especially the last one) …. As he always did and said things as if they were a laugh or for the benefit of the family. I’m struggling so much right now. I don’t know how to say no.

[KIP.]

Can you lie and say you rang the doctor and it wasn’t a scan picture. He could get a copy himself if he really wanted to by contacting the hospital but he is just using this as an excuse to abuse you further. They feel for our vulnerability then exploit it. Don’t let him continue to dump all his nonsense at your door. You’re getting divorced for a reason. Can you block him and go zero contact?

[onceuponadream]

I can’t lie, that would make me feel worse, he can’t access it as it’s my medical records. I can’t go no contact as we share contact with the dog. I can’t give her up and he won’t so I’m stuck. I keep telling myself it was abuse and then talking myself out of it because I wasn’t physically abused. I just feel like I’m fighting alone.

[KIP.]

Sadly any contact you allow he will use to abuse you.

[Empoweredhealing]

This is just an excuse to keep abusing you. If it’s not this, it would be something else.
Cut all ties as quickly as you can including social media. The abuse will continue as long as he has a way to reach you.

[onceuponadream]

Thank you all for responding, I’m being assigned a support worker so hopefully, I can find a solution to this and ensure contact only continues through a third party.

[Author]

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