- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 4 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
Hi, im new to the group, i just need some help please, I managed to get my violent and verbally , emotionally
And financially abusive ex out of the house about (detail removed by Moderator) ago. I dont know if its the time of the year, but im struggling, im struggling to manage juggling my job, my special needs childwho he bullied terribly, the house ( not that he ever helped that was beneath him) etc , i cant keep on top of everything and im struggling with no adult company, the small group of friends I had abandoned me when i wouldn’t leave me ex weve not dpoken for 2 years, in their eyes it was simple jyst walk away, and I have very little family and the family I do have I help care for them. My confidence is shattered by what happened, he took everything from me, including a significant amount of money and him and his family just ganged up and laughed at what had happened , because they have fell for all his lies and believe he is the victim, he is under police caution, (detail removed by Moderator). Im still having nightmares daily about all the things hes done. Ive not slept for a full night as long as I can remember do im exhausted too. My head says im far better off not living in the nightmare and I know thats true, but I am so angry hes git away with everything including our money. I cant seem to just let go and appreciate were safe. I dont know what to do 😞 xx -
Hello. Firstly welcome and well done for getting away.
It is not easy but it does get easier, you think you have lost everything and things will never be the same again, everything is a worry and so much goes on in your head at times you think it will explode, you relive experiences and find it difficult to not get angry with yourself, your abuser and anyone else who happens to be there at the time, all quite understandable. What we went through is not normal and there is no normal way for us to deal with it, I do not know if you have but contact your local woman’s aid or equivalent if you have one in your area, and perhaps see if you can talk to your GP to help with your lack of sleep. Reach out to your old friends, you may be pleasantly surprised that they may be glad you have, nothing to loose. (I sent a text to a friend I thought I had lost and within literally seconds she was on the phone to me) so worth a try.
We think they took everything, our home, our possessions and our money but no matter how we were treated they could not take our spirit or it may be a little difficult to see now our determination, hang in there it does get better and more manageable with time. Take care,
-
I didn’t want to read and run, but wanted to say this….
Try not to focus on what he took from you (I know, easier said than done!) Try and focus what you have left – even the smallest things.Juggling everything is hard – but you don’t have to prove anything to anyone anymore – just one thing at a time and stick to basics. If the vacuuming doesn’t get done for a month…..Oh well!🤷♀️
Sleeping is a toughie. I put a bolt on the bedroom door (made my own “safe” room – it just made me feel safer. Can you do something like that?
Re: friends – yeah, they do disappear 😔 If they don’t reappear, they’re not that good of a friend, are they?! You can try and reach out – they may surprise you!
beachhut is right – it does get easier. Your confidence WILL grow. And you should try and see your GP.
We’re never the same as we used to be – I for one am glad about that, since that’s how I ended up in a sh**ty relationship!
Does your work know what’s happened? If not, I’d say to let someone know…. you are dealing with a lot at the moment. Just telling 1 person can help.
You already did the hardest thing by getting out. Now to make you (and your child) comfortable. One minute/hour/day/week at a time. I promise you it’ll get easier – just don’t expect too much from yourself all at once! Give yourself time to adjust!
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
