Struggling to leave this non existence relationship

[Beauty]

My ex partner is still living in my home for years. We were together for (detail removed by Moderator) years where I said I no longer want to be with him. He still feel we are together (detail removed by Moderator) years later and in that time he is still living with me. I have tried many times to tell him to go, went through solicitors, police and domestic agencies to help remove him. But always at a dead end due to everything is about money which is expensive.

My ex is really always abusive, which includes drinking, calling me names which is rude. He is really manipulative when he drinks and loves to always verbally abuse me for no reason.

I find it hard to get out of this situation as it is years with no progress and support. This has resulted in me getting aggressive where I would destroy his clothes and electric equipments as I can’t physically destroy him. I want to feel happy as it’s been many years and its the same thing.

 

[Sad and alone]

So sorry to read this. It sounds horrific. You have told this person you don’t want to be with them yet years later you still have to endure their abuse.
You say it is your home so I’m assuming they have no financial or any other claim over it? Have you tried just changing the locks and placing their belongings outside? If that caused an issue the police may be more willing to help?
Have you tried speaking with your local domestic abuse service? Or through the live chat here? They may have more information on how you can reclaim your home.
If you’ve broken the relationship off there’s no way you should have to put up with being abused. You have told them the relationship is over and they should have respected this and left.

[Beauty]

Thank you for your comment Sad and alone. I will see if I can reach out to my council for help and see what other support I can get. Most days it’s not like this and most days it is. Just a continued cycle every time.

[Tsunami Mommy]

I relate to your situation so well. The anger for me is in part due to c-PTSD I have as a result of almost two decades of n**********c abuse. But, when I get angry with my husband, he turns it around on me and claims I am the abusive one. I tried sharing that I have physical symptoms such as loss of appetite, anxiety, crying all the time and trouble sleeping, because of his abuse. He said he feels fine. Which tells me, no, I am not abusing him. It’s just the never-ending blame shifting. I recently filed for divorce, but he doesn’t know yet. He won’t allow this to not get ugly, even though I have tried to get him to consider the affect his behavior will (and does) have on the kids. He has been successful in keeping me isolated from everyone and in doubting myself. The lack of support, self-doubt and fear are what has kept me hanging on for so long. You can tell him you want out until your face turns blue. He will not listen or consider the massive affect the relationship has had on you and your life. I filed for divorce four years ago and then withdrew the charges. Four years later, he has made no effort to change or even try. I have decided I am the one who will have to move out. I will have to upend my whole life to get away from him and it will be worth it. The financial abuse I have endured is incredible. Money is his number one way of controlling me. They make it impossible to leave with all of their manipulative tactics. I really felt for your comment about just how difficult the situation is, especially when you are isolated and feel trapped and hopeless. Continue to find your support and educate yourself. You have done nothing wrong. You can do this.

[Beauty]

So sorry you are going though this as well. It’s all about the control and the lack of respect. You will need to find the strength to move on from that. I know it’s hard as you have a children. I will look into getting support and finding out the options for me

[Author]

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