Struggling with fear just seeing him

[KIP.]

How did you ladies that have been out for some time come to terms with the fear that comes when you see your perp. Even driving by him still triggers me and I know I’m going to see him more and more as he has an outside job in our town. He was very close to my home recently. I can now understand why some women move towns. I know if I move house he will use his job as an excuse to be in my street. My only option is to think about re engaging in civil court. Which I dread?i hate that I’m still scared of him😠

[Jelly bean]

Hi kip

I’m exactly the same. I’ve actually stopped going out when I can because I just don’t want to bump into him. I’ve drove by him a few times and it triggers panic attacks for me. I used to jump out of my skin when the door bell went or the post man posted things through the letterbox. That has eased off now with the help of my counsellor. It’s not easy but in time it does get a little better. My ex lives (removed by moderator) away from me. I know how you feel x

[Ayanna]

It is just horrible.

[Winterblues2]

I used to trigger whenever o saw him. Even if our cars passed. But something clicked over new year and it just stopped. I’ve been out around a year.

I think it will come when you are emotionally ready and that takes a different time for everyone. Just know that it is possible and it will happen. Xx

[Serenity]

Hi KIP,

I can really sympathise. Just seeing him used to take me tremble and quake and go into anxiety mode.

Mine is dropping my child off outside my house, even though he promised not to come on to the road. He’s hoping to upset me. Last week he came da e to face with his car, as I came out of my drive.

AI was able to give him a bit of a blank stare ( I shouldn’t have looked at all but I kind of looked before I realised it was him).

As I was ‘protected’ by being in my car ( I posted some time back about how I feel so safe in my car, a confined space- counteracts feelings of agoraphobia) I was surprisingly not too bad. Plus I am determined not to let him think he has won by seeing me react.

However, what is making me tremble and feel sick is the head working and emotional abuse he is doing regarding my youngest, and cruelty to my youngest, and covert bullying …. See with him, he’s trying to do it all under the radar. He might appear to be acting normally but under it all, he is scheming. People are taken in. People fall for it. Apparently, (removed by moderator) raising money for charity: a man who fleeces the elderly.

I am worried that he might start to come closer physically, and I don’t know how I will react if he does that…maybe not as well.

But what I hope I will do is pull out all the stops to report things, log things, protect myself and actually tell e ermine I can, so people know what he is up to. I don’t allow myself to be scared into secrecy. Then he has power over me again. No, I will get his games out there, where they will lose their power.

You must do this too, KIP.

How dare he come anywhere near you. X

However,

[Serenity]

Sorry- not sure where that ‘however’ came from!

[Author]

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