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    • #169171
      nightlight
      Participant

      Hi this is my first post. I’ll try and keep it simple and straightforward as my head gets in a muddle when I try to explain my situation.
      I’m divorced (detail removed by moderator) we have 2 teenagers together.
      I’d felt unhappy, stressed and not good enough for most of those years. Multiple cheating, prostitutes (that I only know about once), body shaming, criticisms, gaslighting, teasing disguised as ‘banter’, being used…..so many things over the years. Always emotional/mental abuse which was fairly subtle over a long length of time but consistent and then some more hurtful key moments where I would want to leave but he would suddenly become more understanding, or cry or future fake a better time ahead. This pattern went on for years. There was also some financial abuse. Fast forwarding to the end.
      He had always said he would never ever leave the family home. This was so ingrained in me that I knew if I split from him I would have to be the one to leave. I never took any legal advice which was so stupid of me and accepted what he said that the amount of money (detail removed by moderator)
      Now time has passed, I’m working on myself and still recovering and healing but I have hit a massive hurdle of dealing with the injustice I feel I experienced. I’m angry that I felt I had to leave our family home, I was by far the better parent and had been the main carer for our kids yet he is still there living with our son. He was in another long term relationship months before our divorce which he also used to hurt me and alienated me as a parent basically pushing me out the way because when we were divorced he said he didn’t have to tell me anything.
      In a nutshell has anyone experienced trying to get financial disclosure or made a claim after divorce? Has anyone else left their family home, kids, jobs a whole life in desperation and with judgement completely clouded by emotion? I feel so ashamed of being the one who left, like I was the problem, and I have felt a bit defeated by him so assured that he ‘won’. However I’ve got a bit of a fire in my belly now to try to see what I can do to make things right and I won’t feel any peace in myself until I’ve tried.
      Thanks for reading x

    • #169178
      Marmalade
      Participant

      Hi welcome to the Forum. As far as financial claims after divorce are concerned, your best bet is to see a solicitor for some advice. Some solicitors offer the first 30 minutes free. Look for a solicitor who does Family Law and have all your information ready so you don’t waste any time.
      If there is already a financial order in your divorce then it might be tricky to try to challenge it now, although get some advice on that, but if there were never any financial orders then ask your solicitor about what you can apply for. Good luck.

      • #169182
        nightlight
        Participant

        Thank you for your reply. No financial order was done through the court. We had our own agreement that I signed just before I left him.
        I am looking into legal advice at the moment so hope it leads somewhere more positive!
        Many thanks ☺️

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