4th October 2017 at 11:34 am #48329SnyffParticipant
I was in an abusive relationship for (detail removed by moderator) that ex phsyically assaulted me outside my house, I got the police involved, I got an injunction but my mental health has suffered greatly. I was scared to leave the house and as a result have been left sick with PTSD and depression. Shortly after I had to leave that residence for unrelated reasons and then my partner at the time left me because he couldn’t deal with me needing support through this- because of my sickness.
So I now find myself trying to fight with the NHS for the right mental health support (and for my mental health Dr not to use inappropriate language around DV!) and having to try and manage my health as a single woman again. I have supportive friends but I find the DV aspect really throws people and I’m not in this frustrating space of partially wanting to be open about what’s happened but also not wanting to be pigeon holed by my experiences or to keep having to discuss/ explain them in detail.
Also- during the relationship I was very accepting of his behaviour towards me and his actions towards me and so its only retrospectively that I’ve been able to see this relationship as abusive. And so I’m here having to cope with PTSD from this relationship and a rape I experienced as a teen and left feeling like my whole life and dating/sexual preferences are in flux because they all have been effected by this.
I feel like there’s a lot of support for the crisis point of abuse when it is in action but less available for the after effects. I’m sure I’m not alone with seeing the extent to which the DV has effected all aspects of my life.
I’m exhausted fighting this battle alone and I’m disgusted at being left because of my assault. -As I said to my (most recent) ex ‘ By doing this you’re letting him win.’
4th October 2017 at 4:04 pm #48341lover of no contactParticipant
You have come to the right place for good long-term support after being affected by the behaviours of abusive people. Yes abuse also has impacted my life, my children, myfinances, my earning power, , my sense of self, my self-confidence, my self-worth and my self-esteem. I too am triggered very easily into anxiety, fear and low confidence due to my having being raised by an abuser mum and marrying an abusive man.
Slowly, day by day by, by coming on here a lot and going No Contact with the abusers I am starting to recover my trust in life, my joy, my humour, my self-worth and my finances, my self-care are improving slowly, my children’s mental health/behaviours have changed from insane to sane. I am managing to manage my fear and anxiety by using this Forum as a support. I gain so much to help me recover from reading on here the other ladies’ posts.
Welcome to the Forum. Keep posting and reading daily and you will recover slowly all the things that you have lost and you will manage your anxiety triggers and not let them take over your life.
Knowledge and our experience and strength is Power.
4th October 2017 at 4:24 pm #48344SnyffParticipant
Thank you for writing and sharing your message of hope- we’re all on a journey and I know there is always movement but at the moment it feels like I’m running on the spot!
4th October 2017 at 9:52 pm #48350AyannaParticipant
I know how that feels.
I am just out of hospital as I developed a life threatening condition that progresses.
I had to fight for mental health support for a long time.
Physical illness developed due to the enormous stress I was put under and I had nowhere to turn for help.
I got therapy this year after my long fight but it is almost too late.
My health is already destroyed.
They should have given me that earlier, then I would not be so sick.
(detail removed by moderator).
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