Struggling with the change

[Survival]

Hi I am new to this forum, I left my situation (detail removed by moderator)but I am really struggling with the change of lifestyle. We lived together for over (removed by moderator) and spent a lot of time together, he pushed me away from my family and friends so I feel like I haven’t got many people to talk to and to be honest I forgot what my life was like before him. I feel like I’ve changed so much as a person, he really dragged me down and now I have 0 self esteem, I’ve gone from a confident bubbly person to someone that just sits in silence drowned by my own thoughts. I try to keep myself busy but feel stuck inside my own head most the time.

[Lisa]

Hi Survival, welcome to the forum. I am sure you will find it such a supportive place to be.
It will take some time for you to come to terms with everything that you have been through and adjusting to your new life.Unfortunately, it is not unusual for perpetrators to isolate survivors from their family and friends.

You might like to get some support from a local domestic abuse service you can find their details here

Keep posting!

Best wishes

Lisa

[Escapee]

Hi survival,

It is tough, but it will get better.

Like you, I have changed from a bubbly, confident woman to someone who would rather stay home and avoid people. But you do have to gather up some strength and get out there. Start with support groups, being around other women that understand how you feel really helps.

Also, have you talked to your GP? They can help you access counselling and help you through this period.

The other women on here are amazing and supportive too.

Well done for being so brave x*x

[Survival]

Thank you for your replies, it’s tough but I’m hanging in there, definitely think a support group would help but I am nervous about going 😞 I’m hoping to push myself to do it, thank you for the information xx

[clearthemurkywaters]

Hi Survival,
I am quite new here too, and find it helpful to post my feelings, i can feel very isolated and being here helps, so keep posting, and maybe make a list of things for you to do and look forward to, maybe things you have not been able to do because of him. xx

[Survival]

Thank you for your reply, sounds like a good idea, it’s difficult because I do feel alone, he always wanted me to be with him so we ended up doing most things together so now I do feel lonely and isolated. It hurts even more as he’s moved into his next victim and just makes me think he didn’t care at all.

[Newbeginnings1234]

I feel the same way, I had to move away to an area where I don’t know anyone. It’s been months now and the only person I talk to all week is a counsellor. Are you able to see a counsellor? It helps to know that there’s at least one person I can talk to every week and gives me a bit of a routine x

[Survivor123]

Hey there I would just like to start off with saying you are all survivors and are stronger than you think you’ve just not realised it yet.
I was a victim for many years but I managed to get out with help from a fantastic DV worker,my plan is to work with wonderful ladies just like yourselves.
Everyone will say you need to find strength…but from where,you have been taken as low as you possibly could be and now you have to dig yourself out.
You probably think you cant cope on your own,you need him around to help raise your children but trust me when I say this,you have so much strength in you,you need to tell yourself.
If you’ve been isolated from your family ask yourself,would they really turn their back on you now?(you’ve got nothing to lose by trying).
You could try small steps to find yourself again,tell yourself you will not be controlled by him any more,you are free and you are going to live a good life with your children.
Sorry for the long post but I feel so much passion to try what I can to help,I know you can do this.
Keep believing in yourselves.

[Survival]

Thank you for your replies, it really helps to know I’m not the only one. I think I will have to speak to someone as there’s so much in my head I need to let out, I wake up every morning and have this horrible sick feeling inside and feel like I’m living in a nightmare.

[Author]

Posts