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I’m really struggling today. I thought life would be better. Although its nice not to have to walk on eggshells all the time, generally it feels like life is worse now. The good times are gone, I miss my kids when he has them, I’ve lost many friends, I feel bad for the kids. We had a parents evening recently where he refused to even look at me which was humiliating. The teacher just said I need to let him grieve the relationship. I just feel like no one cares how I feel. Sorry not much point in this post. But I needed to get it out.
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Hi
It sounds like you have done the hardest part which is getting out.
It can only get better from here.
Of course you need to grieve too. Despite everything he was your partner.
The kids are surely going to be happier if you are less stressed out.
Is there something you can do when he has the kids? An evening class or swimming or something? Something just for you?
Take care xx
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This is the hard bit, the breaking free then the aftermath. This is where I caved in and was manipulated back.
Please stay strong, ring a call line like Samaritans, have a good cry, start a hobbie, go for a walk, surround yourself with nature, relax, but keep busy, do anything you can do stay free 🥰
I would say it’s not your regretting leaving but I would like to put it to you that you’re grieving and this is you starting to heal, and it will only get easier and things will get better. Take it a minute, hour or day at a time but keep going, you have started your new life, a journey full of new beautiful and exciting things waiting for you. Look forward not back.
Keep posting hugs CB X
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It takes a while to feel grounded and at peace with life.
I’ve experienced (detail removed by Moderator) years of emotional abuse. I moved out (detail removed by Moderator) years ago, and the first year was so hard. I had lots going on with parents ill etc. So, I think I was too busy to focus on the marriage I’d left. Mean while my husband was in denial and trying to lovebomb me. Then… (detail removed by Moderator) months later he ‘switched’. Communication stopped (except for upsetting, offensive ensils) and I found myself alone because he’d become sociable with everyone!! I felt isolated. But… I have largely been antisocial, wanting time by myself to adjust, I obsessively gardened to help with stress and anxiety. I had wobbles of missing bim but reminded myself why I left. I pictured myself back with him, having him ‘lecture’ me about how I coukd improve myself.
The children stay with me 50% of the time now and my oldest lives with me. Almost (detail removed by Moderator) years since leaving, I finally feel more grounded. I feel like doing stuff again, joining clubs, chatting about things that don’t involve him. I finally feel a turning point and although I still miss a few things occasionally, I am looking forwards most of the time now.
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