Stuck

[Blacksky]

My partner and I have been together almost (number removed by Moderator) years. 2 kids, I had my first at (age removed by Moderator) and we moved in together.

 

Roughly (number removed by Moderator) years ago I woke to him having sex with me while I slept. I told him this was not OK and I didn’t want it to happen again. Well it did, a lot.

 

We fell out recently and I asked him to leave, he started saying he was going to end it all and walked out. He came back soon after saying he just needed a walk. We had decided to stay together over the holidays and my (event removed by Moderator).

 

He has promised it won’t happen again but I feel the trust has been broken, I don’t think I can continue. I want to as he has been my best friend and I love him but I’m hurting. How can someone who loves you do this. It’s weird that he wouldn’t wake me up or wait for me to wake to have sex. I think he enjoys me not knowing something strange like that.

 

He keeps saying he will never do it again but I can’t trust that anymore. And I don’t want to be here in 10 years in the same position and wasted 20+ years on him. I don’t think a breakup would go very well, we had a lot of debt. He can’t afford his own house right now and I can’t make him homeless.

 

I can handle being on my own and everything else would be fine. I don’t really know what to do, I think the only thing holding me back is that I know how difficult it would be for him despite everything I still care about him

 

I keep telling myself what he did was rape but I feel like I’m being dramatic about it all and over reacting because how could he have done that to me all these years and I will never know how much he did it how many times

 

I don’t know what I’m looking for here, advice or maybe just to get it out and to have someone here it

I feel stuck unable to move forward, I just don’t know what to do

[Firsttimedivorcee]

I am not trying to put words in your mouth but it sounds like he has (without consent) decided to have intercourse with you and this is rape. Esp because you’re unaware and you’ve expressed this. Do you have records of when it’s happened, dates etc. I would genuinely advise you to speak with the police. This is not okay.

[lostbetweenthestars]

i agree with the above if your not concenting to sex it is rape i would call the police

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