Stuck

[Ssss]

My kids are picking up his behaviour.. things have changed. He used to be physically and emotionally abusive, daily violence, days of being egnored, his moods controlled the whole family…. nowardays things are more subtle emotional abuse but low key… hard to explain but Its worse than ever really because I thought it’s better than before but he’s still chipping away it’s just harder to figure out now….I feel confused…. and now I’m having trouble with the kids… they have no respect for me.. they won’t do anything I ask them.. and he will not back me up in any way ever. He would never tell them to go to bed regardless of school etc… and if I told them, he will never back me up. It’s like he’s the weekend dad taking the for all fun things etc and I’ve got to discipline and give boundaries etc.. they are rude and he won’t say anything to them… I feel like running and leaving them…. I just think they are wild now and have gone beyond.. and I wouldn’t be able to manage them…but will they calm down once I got away? Is the environment a factor in their behaviour or is it too late now and they will behave like he does towards me and to others.. I worry if I go they will blame me and want to go with him.. because they can do what they want.. don’t have to get up for school, do homework etc… spend all day on internet don’t have to lift a finger etc etc… I am scared sad exhausted… sorry to moan.. x

[Confused123]

HI HUn

Sorry tohear kids are playing up, yes the enviornment is havign impact on them, and yes your partner is prob loving this, but dont give up, kids so need routine and stability, im not sure how old your kids are, my kids were teens when i left and deep doen they were reliefed to be in a calm enviornment, yes they do play up but its better then the scenario u r in now, and most importantly u can deal with your kids better when u have left abuser. IN a different sense u become closer , maybe kids are frustated too and just taking advantage of the no rules that are in houe at moment, do not give up, can u ntakenay extra supplments to give you more energy

[Ssss]

Thanks for encouragement…yes once out will prob be easier..to give them stability.. At the moment I say one thing he says the opposite… it just all gets on top sometimes and you loose all sense of reality… but hopefully we will get out someday in the not too distant future. X

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