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I thought I would try and be nice and sent him a message to say Happy birthday. He started off with self pity messages then very quickly got nasty saying I have until the end of the week to tell him what I want to do with the house and that it’s not good enough that I haven’t told him yet. He also wants me to take the dog back and said its not good enough that I can’t face going back there yet as it makes me feel physically sick to think of going back there.
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Understand this. Any contact for me ends in abuse, harassment etc. it became pointless for me to talk to him. Being nice does not help either I find. It took me yrs to get rid of him finally. Still issues with divorce.
I too got physically ill and unable to return to area. I ended up living elsewhere due to fact it made me panic to go anywhere near area.
Ultimately I owe him nothing. I live my own life now.
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It’s not a mistake to be a nice person or to hope for a civil conversation- that’s normal! Take it as a lesson learnt that he hasn’t changed, he won’t and as a reminder of why you stopped contact. I often liken it to smoking, you quit smoking, had a cheeky cigarette and realised you hated the taste/smell and didn’t smoke again x
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Bananaboat, I’m totally feeling that right now. I felt I needed to contact him again to arrange collecting some more of our stuff and to return the dog 😢 (which I am dreading in the pit of my stomach, but I know the sooner I get it over with the better and reduces risk of him damaging our stuff!). He was very nasty and manipulative again. I’m now feeling hatred towards him, which I know isn’t healthy but feels a lot better than loving/missing him! I’ve blocked him now. Any contact can be through solicitor (who he said he will not respond to until I have spoken to him in person!). I hope I don’t go backwards – it really is a rollercoaster of emotions!!
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