Success but feeling depressed, is this normal

[driedflowers]

Hi everyone,

I recently had a big success at work. My ex had tried to stop me from achieving this, and I have still been living with fear that he would re-emerge and do something. I want to be happy that I was successful despite him, and that I am “moving on” with life, whatever that means. But I just feel very sad. Few people in my life are aware of the situation. Those who aren’t aware are frustrated that I cannot embrace this success. Those who are aware feel I am letting him take something away from me and that I am being too negative by focusing on the bad. It feels very lonely. I want to share this news with more people, but I am afraid to do so in case this becomes a trigger for him to re-emerge. I am also myself disappointed that this does not feel better, and it feels very depressing that I also cannot enjoy it; I want to.

I don’t know if this post makes sense… Has anyone else had a similar experience? I don’t know if this is normal, if I am focusing on the negative too much, or if I’m a bit depressed or something.

[Bananaboat]

Sounds pretty normal to me, their words and conditioning lasts a long time, it takes time to break training and muscle memory. I don’t know much about it but have seen others have posted about ptsd after abuse. Well done on your achievement!! It’s really hard to give yourself permission to celebrate but I hope you find a way, even if not with this, then the next thing xx

[driedflowers]

Thank you, Bananaboat. Yes, I hadn’t really connected this to my ptsd but you’re right, this could explain what I’m currently feeling xx

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