Support for those over 60

[Anonymous]

I’m over 60. Is there support for women this age. This is my first posting.

[Cornflake]

Hello Sunshinekurlz, I think the best answer is yes, there is absolutely support for everyone, regardless of their age. Why don’t you contact Women’s Aid directly, they will be able to offer you the support and advice you need. I hope with all my heart you get the help you deserve.

[Isittoolate]

I am hoping so, as I am already (detail removed by moderator). Also new to here. Been married a very long time, and only now beginning to realise that it is in fact abusive. He is an alcoholic, and probably has always been. Communication has completely broken down, and (detail removed by moderator) ago he attacked me physically. It is really hard to think that I have let this carry on for so long. I would like to be able to discuss it openly, but he walks away from any discussion, and refuses any kind of counselling or intervention. He won’t even admit he is an alcoholic. I realise now, I should have left years ago. That thought is really hard to live with. I carried this relationship and made my own space in it to do my own things, but now I see it has really been a millstone around my neck, with nothing in return. I am luckier than some on here, in that I had a good job and have my own pension. It is very tempting to just stick to the status quo, as he simply sweeps everything under the carpet, and if I try to raise it, I am the one being argumentative. I am all at sea, as I now see his behaviour has affected my adult children. They all have lives that are dysfunctional in one way or another. I do have the feeling of having squandered my whole life on someone who gives nothing back!

[Wants To Help]

Hi isittoolate,

The answer is it’s never too late to leave an abuser. I did catch your post before your age was removed, and all I can say is that it is fantastic that you are on here and recognising that your life has been filled with abusive behaviour towards you and that you are now at a stage where you can choose to leave him. The original person who posted has now deleted their account (hence they have gone ‘anonymous’) so further replies on this thread will now be for you, or you could start a new one of your own.

He’s never going to change and whatever years you have left are not going to be any better, so please don’t waste any more time in trying with this marriage, leave if you can afford to and let him carry on with his ways. If he is of a similar age you could give Adult Social Care a call and let them know what’s going on and why you are leaving, then if there are any concerns around any vulnerability at all they can take it on.

You could try calling a refuge and see if you could go there for a short time, if he has been physically abusive recently he could do it again, so this would be a safe place to go to while you sort out finding somewhere long term. The fact you are a single woman with no children might be easier to find you a place, but it may not be local to you. Refuges tend not to house ladies in their own home town for safety reasons as they could be too easy to find.

My mum just upped and left my dad one day with just a suitcase of clothes, she’d had enough after a very long marriage and we were all adults too.

Please stay on this forum and keep us updated of your progress, we would like to be able to support you through this and hope to see your happy ending 🙂

xx

[Hereforhelp]

Hi and welcome to the forum, you are in the right place for help/support… I am over 50 and left after 3 attempts (later in life also).
What you have described is awful classic abuse, it’s all on him.

I was wondering if you have got any support in place from a local domestic abuse service?

Keep posting ❤

[Watersprite]

It really is never too late – in fact perhaps it is even more important to have peace and safety and freedom to choose x

[Author]

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