Support groups.

[Drcamso]

Hi all.
I’m not ready to talk yet but I am stuck in a relationship with my husband. He doesn’t hit me but I am destroyed. I am trying to plan mybescape. I’ve been here for (detail removed by moderator)!. I can’t give him any more of my life.
I am wondering if any of you know if there are any charities that will help with the cost of starting out in private rent. Our tenancy says that if the relationship breaks down due to DA then the council will take the tenancy back! I have 3 adult son’s at home and I can not risk them being made homeless.
Secondly I have NO friends and no one to talk to, I am so ashamed of my life I would not discuss it with anyone from work. Do any of you know if there are any support groups or meet ups?
Thank you
X

[KIP.]

Are your adult sons working? Can you scrape together a deposit? I don’t think the council can do that. They have a duty to rehome victims of domestic abuse not evict them. You may be able to have him removed using a court order. But if you’re not yet ready to talk about the abuse then I’d start with citizens advice or your local women’s aid. My local one was fantastic. They have a wealth of knowledge and won’t pressure you into anything. An empty house would be great then you can hire and man and van when your abuser is out and just move everything. It’s a scary thought but it can’t be any worse than what you’re going through x abusers thrive on silence. It’s not your shame, it is his x

[HopeLifeJoy]

Hi Drcamso
Well done for posting, if I were you I would start by calling Women’s Aid, the number is on this page, to explain your situation, they are a charity who can advise you how to seek further help for your specific situation.
For support group you could try to find a freedom program near you, wa can also advice you on this.
I understand your shame and unwillingness to talk about it at work, you really don’t have to.
Instead maybe make an appointment with your GP and tell her what’s happening at home?

Take small steps, you did really well by starting here, this is the biggest step.
Take care and keep posting

[Drcamso]

Hi thank you for replying.
I actually went to the GP, council and local WA group about (detail removed by moderator) It was the 1 and only time he actually hit me and I was so convinced that finally I would be able to get out. Anyway the GP couldn’t car less, told me if I pursued it she would report me to social care and the kids would be affected even more! Housing told me I should feel lucky to be with a guy who provided us with somewhere to live and every one argues. I showed them the bruises and was told that surely he didn’t mean it! WA told me they wouldn’t help unless I left my kids. They are all all boys.
This all left me broken to be honest, I’ve since had 2 more kids and he’s got worse. I’m totally trapped with no escape.
As for my older son’s 2 of them stay at their girlfriends and the younger one has just turned (detail removed by moderator) this week. He is still in college and financially dependant on me.
My hope is that there is some sort of charity that could just help with a deposit.
I guess another problem is references, I don’t have any! And my credit rating will be shocking. My husband has a car in my name and keeps getting parking tickets, he never says anything and I keep receiving letters from the council saying I owe £100s!
I’m managing to hide some money every month But it’s only like £55 and it will take years to raise enough!

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