Supposed to go to police today..

[Unormalised@1]

I made the decision to report my ex partner..
He was sexually abusive and looking back now that I’ve been out of the relationship, have a new partner and feel relatively safe, I see just how abusive the whole relationship was.
Its consuming me, I think of it every day and more so lately, I cant not think about it.
Called the police other day and made an appointment but now I’m scared , maybe I cant do this? What if they dont believe me cause the only evidence i have is his fake apologies :/ I’m terrified and am scared if i do go kn, I’ll break down or just decide i cant tell them.. is it too late to not report?
I have 2 kids with him and he sees them regularly ish, they love him but every time j have to have contact it makes my mental health worse. I vomit every day because of the anxiety hes left me with and barely leave the house unless it’s with the kids. I feel trapped in a minefield of my own mind now.

[fizzylem]

Hi, hope it goes ok today for you. Reporting isn’t the same as getting him charged, this is just the first step of a few, the police will discuss with you what they think needs to happen. You will need evidence yes, and if they take up the case then they will do an investigation. You will know more what is what after you’ve been.

The anxiety sounds awful to live with, have you sought any professional help for this? It’s clearly having a negative impact on your life isn’t it. Sounds like you maybe need some help to overcome this so you can get back to feeling ok to be in the world again.

Perhaps you need a different way to deal with him for the children? Going through a third person maybe?

Good luck x

[KIP.]

It’s okay to change your mind and take a step back. You still sound really traumatised. Ask to speak to the sexual crimes unit. They’re trained to deal with this kind of thing. Rape crisis were a huge support to me. Ring their helpline and talk to someone about your anxiety. They can go with you or you can go to their office and give your statement to the police there. whatever you decide is okay. Maybe you’re not ready yet. Maybe good counselling is a good idea going forward x

[Unormalised@1]

I done it! I even stayed relatively calm (after a morning full of vomiting and worrying)
And only cried a few times.
It was hard to reprt but just taking some action has made me feel slightly better about myself, I know its gonna be tough either he will be charged and I face court or he gets away with it all for lack of evidence. But either way it’s time to turn all this anger into action and do something productive with it rather than keep turning it inward snd trapping myself with it.

[AlwaysSorry]

Well done for stepping forward. No matter the outcome, you have told your truth, it is out there on record now, be proud of this, it’s a really brave thing to report them. It sounds like this alone has helped you which shows it was the right decision for you to report it x Keep going x

[Author]

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