Supposed to have left today !!

[Woollymammal]

I’m sorry I keep coming on and asking things.. I was supposed to.leave today.. he’s gone to (removed by moderator) which is a good way away..
But then the storm, I’m a driver that doesn’t like going far, so I was scared to drive in it..
So then I’m thinking I’ll go tomorrow or maybe the next day depending on his work..
Thing is am I subconsciously delaying leaving?
I have took a few more bits yo my sister’s so bit less to.take..
I know that I am going to need some psychological care..
I’ve worried my daughters and sister and mom because I’m scared when I leave and will be alone with all the trauma in my brain.. I’m scared I’ll do something to myself..

Xxxx

[KIP.]

Please don’t apologise for asking for support. Many of us have been where you are, you’re not alone. Don’t put pressure on yourself. Perhaps you could attempt to leave while he’s away and if you feel like you can’t manage then you can step back. Sometimes it’s the thought of the unknown that holds us back. In the end I just had to take a leap of faith. As long as you have a support network, you will still have all that support in your new place, minus the nasty abuser who drags you down. Take things at your own pace x keep your phone next to you and reach out if you need to x

[Woollymammal]

Hi Kip, thank you for your reply, I think I’m slowly easing myself into it by taking little bits, making it less hard on my back for carrying things to my car etc..
But if I go that’s it I don’t want to step nack, he’s taken all of my confidence.. all I can see and feel is the worst..
I just need to get the rest of my strength to go in the next few days.. I think I just need to keep resting inbetween to get a bit of strength back..
X*x

[KIP.]

Yes, take it at your own pace. You’re in control of this. Once you move to your own place you can take your time to recover at your own pace. Snuggle under the duvet. Snuggle your pets. Feel safe. Have family round. Plan your recovery step by step. The main thing is no one will hold you back from healing x

[Woollymammal]

Thank you kip, you bring my mind back into focus when the panic has distorted it..
Sending hugs
X*x

[KIP.]

Hugs right back at you……. I’m sitting in my own living room watching what I want on the tv. Drinking my coffee in peace. No more walking on eggshells. Just a little dog to cuddle would make it perfect. But I feel like I’ve been given a second chance at life and I’m going to make the most of it x

[Woollymammal]

Sounds absolutely wonderful kip, and you so deserve it, awww you should think of getting a little dog to cuddle.. my fur babies give me so much comfort..
He’ll be back soon and my anxiety is peaking..
I just read a quote and it said..

Sometimes the thing you are most afraid of doing
Is the very thing that sets you free..

X*x

[KIP.]

Yep. Hold that thought! X

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