Taking both abroad

[Serenity]

My ex has somehow talked my eldest into going to his home country with my youngest in the summer, for two weeks.

My first feeling was to feel lost. Then I thought, what better way for them to learn what he is.

Then I began to worry if he kept them there.

I suppose I should value the rest.

He didn’t have time for them when he was here. Why is he taking them now?

Maybe to make out to his family that he’s a great dad.

Part of me feels bereft.

[Healthyarchive]

What is the realistic possibility of him keeping them there against your wishes, do you know?

[Serenity]

I really don’t know.

He has his business here, but he has been running it down.

I think he may do anything just to spite me for taking him to court.

The other part of me thinks he won’t and he is just doing it to frighten me.

[Serenity]

I am panicking now.

He really is putting on his best act to groom my eldest.

I can imagine he can’t bear having lost the house. He needs to be the winner. He used to ask me who I loved more- him or the kids.

He could be one of those abductors.

[I am better than this]

Serenity, I can imagine your feelings right now. I don’t know how the legal system works……is there some way an order can be made to ensure the return of the children on a certain date. I know about Specific Issue Orders and Prohibition Orders, but think these would only apply with regard to STOPPING him taking them abroad. And you would probably need to show your concerns to a court.
Do you feel there is enough concern to warrant legal advice regarding all of this?

[Lisa]

Hi Serenity,

Please make sure that you have a copy of the children’s passports. Please also have a look at the Foreign and Commonwealth Office’s website for some information and advice. Reunite is also a brilliant organisation and they offer help, support and advice for anyone worried about child abduction – http://www.reunite.org Only you know what he is capable of but if you are concerned then please listen to your inner voice.

We are all here for you.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[Healthyarchive]

Sorry Serenity i did not mean to put worries in your mind, i have just quite a few stories in the media of men taking their children abroad and not coming back & it gets messy. Your ex is very spiteful too. I agree with what Lisa & I am Better have said. X*X

[godschild]

Hi Serenity so sorry you have to face this, you are bo8und to feel very concerned with how your ex is.
I really feel for you in this situation them being with him for two weeks abroad.
I really dont know what to advise, but wanted to send you my concern for what you are facing x*x

[Confused123]

HI HUn

HIs playing the same game he did last year when he took one of them, he knows this will p*** u off and stress u out, that’s his goal. Still listen to your gut feeling, as much as he is doing to wind u up still take precautions to make sure children can come back , you will prob have to get legal advise about this to be advised correctly, def take copies of passport, have u got residency order for both kids, if you have he has to ask your permission to take kids abroad, get it in writing kids can only be out of country for x days and to be return by x date . Sending u hug , can only imagine how u r feeling. Again train kids to have a private mobile incase they need to make contact , have whats app added on phone that is free to communicate as long as they have internet access.

[Serenity]

Thank you all for your support and advice.

He took my youngest there just after the family court, and I was worried, but he still had things to come back here for- the financial hearing etc, so it wasn’t in his interests to stay there.

Now, the finances are complete and he is hardly happy with the outcome. Though the outcome was fair, he wanted to get everything. He is probably also furious that I maintain no contact and refuse to pay off a joint debt singlehandedly. He is probably furious that I maintain no contact: he wants me to acquiesce and play along that he isn’t abusive, when he is, severely so. He is also one to hold grudges and is very vindictive. Once you’ve crossed him, you are his enemy forever.

Part of me thinks this is just a scare tactic. I also thinks he wants to use the kids to look to his parents that he is some sort of success. But part of me worries, as he used to try to leave my eldest son out of anything, to leave him behind on holidays and trips, and I think he must have done a lot of guilt-tripping to enable my son to agree to go, seeing as my eldest goes months without seeing him.

I am worried that my ex will do anything to hurt me.

Thanks, Godschild, for your support.

Confused: the contact order says my youngest can be taken out of the country with my permission for no longer than a month. In fact, he only has a two week stretch with him for contact. My eldest is deemed old enough to make his own choices. I will ensure they have a phone with them.

I Am Better Than This: because the contact order states he can take them abroad, I can’t go against it without looking like I am barring them from contact. What is worrying me is that he wants to take my eldest too: he always tries to exclude him normally. Something doesn’t sit right.

Thank you, Lisa, I will take photocopies of the passports nd I will look at the website, and look up Reunite.

[godschild]

He may be just trying to frighten you by doing this another tactic xx

[Ayanna]

Speak to the police. They have the power to prevent the children from leaving the country.

[Author]

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