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I’ve been having a difficult couple of days. My OH just seems oblivious to how his behaviour is triggering and causing issues. His words never match his actions. He never turned up at home to do a job he was meant to. He started ignoring all calls after telling me he would be there. Then when he finally decides to come home he smells of the drink again. So long story short as this may get redacted he does the same thing in the evening. Goes walkabouts tells me one thing does another. I feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall because why doesn’t he see the issues with his history of cheating and addiction. Fast forward a bit more and he goes to collect his car. I’d warned him earlier not to because I thought he had been drinking. So I call the police as a concern for his MH and potentially being a danger to others. Well he’s just come home and (removed by moderator). Now I’m just incredulous that he thinks I tried to get him arrested. No I was listening to my conscience he’s not a sound individual. But I’m always the bad guy never him and he never gets any consequences for his behaviour.
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Hi HaPea,
That sounds really frustrating, especially stacked up day-by-day like you describe. Abusers are often very entitled and accept no responsibility for their behaviour. When he’s saying one thing and doing another, I’d suggest he does have an idea about what he’s doing. He knows the right things to say that he’ll do, so he’s not oblivious to your needs, and not following through with what’s agreed is a choice he makes. The fact he then ignores your phone calls also suggests that he is aware of the impact on you and chooses to behave in this way. It’s incredibly disrespectful and must be exhausting.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa -
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