Talking to a new guy

[Positiveandlookingahead]

So ladies. I started online dating and came across a lot of creeps and decided it wasn’t the right time for me and also that I was quite bulnerable. After going through all of that I recognised red flags and decided enough was enough but then I met someone when I recently went away…

I was part of the same group of people that went away with this guy and my friend invited me alonf she’s known this guy for a few years now. A couple of us found each other on social media so I added him and he gave me his number. I am trying to find faults in him (without him knowing of course) and I’m searching for red flags and there generally aren’t any.

He is also divorced like me and has been open and said he isn’t planning on getting married for at least a few years. He also told me he isn’t looking for anyone. I have real feelings for this guy but I haven’t told him and he won’t tell me either because we have both been hurt.

I have learned to take a step back and I don’t put a lot of effort into speaking with him. I let him come to me and he does. Everything is at such a slow pace, there are no expectations he isn’t trying to find out anything about my past unlike other guys I’ve spoken to. This feels like how it should be when you start speaking to somone. But I want you to help me because I want to keep him at a distance, I don’t want to trust him too quickly and I want to most importantly enjoy it for what it is and not let my abusive past relationship put a shadow on this!!!! X

[Lisa]

Hi Positiveandlookingahead,

You are right, it is best to keep a distance and take your time. Just concentrate on enjoying yourself and keeping safe.

Best Wishes

Lisa

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Thank you Lisa. Thats ecactly what I’m doing. I just feel like I can’t ever lose myself with a man ever again. I’m taking some time away from him and from everyone. This is my healing, it’s my weekend, it’s my time to breathe. I am the most important person in my life. The wedding is over and it’s all about making myself feel good. I’ve started to take antidepressants and I feel more balanced in my life. I just want time away from every single person in my life. I have spent the last few years focusing on everyone else but me. Not anymore x

[Author]

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