Telling me who I can talk to

[Pinkturtle]

Is this part of the abuse, he accuses me of chatting to other men and says I don’t understand men as I think it’s innocent but the more I talk to them the more they think I’m interested.

Of course I talk to other men, I work in a mixed team.

[Dragon]

I would say it sounds like part of it, trying to make you feel guilty for innocently talking to other men who you come into contact with at work, making you feel like you’re doing something wrong and therefore potentially changing your normal behaviour. Yes I would say so. They may have feelings for you or think you’re attractive but that is part of life. What does he expect you to do? Ignore every man in case they might fancy you? Doesn’t sound particularly realistic.

[fizzylem]

Control tactic. Huge red flag. This is to try and control you because if it wasnt he wouldnt have a problem with it or be trying to make it an issue for you. Like you say, you cant avoid men as they make up 50% of the population. Eventually you will not talk to men thinking it’s easier this way. Someone who is content with the self and in a trusting relationship wouldn’t give this a thought, or he may even like the male attention his partner recieves as he knows it’s him she’s going home with. None controlling men deal with reality and when things arise; this is his fear, the fear you’ll meet someone better, because he knows he’s no good for you and he’s trying to make it your problem so you can appease him. Walk away x

[EbonyRaven]

Hi,

Please don’t allow him to prevent you from engaging in normal, ordinary chat with every one of the opposite sex. This is a step to making you cut everyone off and be totally isolated with just him as your companion.

That way lies utter frustration, boredom and anger. If he’s anything like my ex, when you no longer talk to men he’ll start accusing you of wanting to get with any ladies you speak with too.

[Author]

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