Telling Parents…..

[Melonballs]

I haven’t told my parents I’ve left. They’re very old. I also live quite far away.

My sister cares for them and desperately needs a break.

I’m still ‘together’ with my husband, but don’t want to move back and pretend everything is hunky dory while they visit.

A hotel, etc, is out of the question as they’re both ill and can’t look after themselves. (They won’t go into respite care either).

Theres a history of abuse between them, and he doesn’t get it. (An old boyfriend threw a chair at me, and he asked what I’D done to deserve it).

It’d kill him to know, as contradicting as it sounds, but there’s a lot more to it than can be put here.

Mum would be ok – and she wouldn’t remember anyway.

Needed to vent and ramble a bit as I have to talk with sister today about it.

Thanks for being there x

[ISOPeace]

What a horrible dilemma for you Melonballs. It’s like you’ve managed to make the brave choice of choosing yourself over him (by leaving), and now you have to choose between yourself and your dad. I don’t have any ideas on a solution that works for everyone, but I wanted to show you some support. Sending love xxxx

[Muddyboots]

Oh Melonballs, that sounds like a nightmare! Is there anyway you could swap out with your sister, so you stay at hers with your parents and she goes to a hotel? Or is there anyway you could safely persuade your ex to let you have the marital home for a couple of weeks so that you could host your parents there? Or could you get an occupation order to give you the right to your marital home and get your ex out permanently? Or would a holiday camp like butlins or centre parks have some accessible cabins that you could stay in with them?

Sorry if this is all clutching at already discounted straws. It sounds like a genuinely painful situation to be stuck in, and I really hope you find a way to get through it without sacrificing your own hard won safety and peace of mind.

xx

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