17th March 2019 at 12:01 pm #74365CheesequeenParticipant
I’m having a really bad day. I have been thinking more and more about all of the threatening and desperate behaviours he has exhibited over the years and when I’ve previously tried to leave.
I spent the first few days in complete panic about what he was going to do when he realised it was finally over and today I feel like I’m right back at square one. I keep crying thinking I’m not going to make it to this new house. I have been thinking of writing letters to my girls in case it does happen. I need the doors locked all the time. I keep imagining scenarios of him coming in to the house and what I would do.
He wants the kids one day this week and although he agreed to not having them over night until we have seen social services and assessed risk.
He is acting like he’s forgotten the agreement and asked to have them. I am terrified of what he is going to do. He’s previously threatened to kill himself while they are there unless I go home but he’s acting like he’s a totally changed man despite having had no intervention whatsoever. He has since raped me after I left and reading back over the old texts I have realised it was planned, not a moment of rage.
His previous actions when I’ve left have been so desperate and severe. I don’t know what to do at all. Should I go back to the Police? I’m so scared if they speak to him but don’t arrest him he will get even more desperate.
17th March 2019 at 12:23 pm #74369IwantmebackParticipant
You really need someone who knows what to do in these circumstances. Letting the police know how terrified you are is a step in the right direction, it’s all mind games with them isn’t it. Have you told anyone that he’s threatened to harm himself with the children there before? BUT and it’s a big but, what if he does try something when he has the kids. We know these men do do terrible things, to themselves and their children
You’re right to feel anxious, the fear of what they will do is real, they’ve shown over the years what they could do, . Do you have a local WA group you can contact?
Of course he’s ‘forgetting’ your agreement, we can’t trust anything they say.
You know deep down he’s not a changed man, but you are a changed woman. You see him for what he is. I hope you find three strength to face up to him.
17th March 2019 at 12:31 pm #74370CheesequeenParticipant
I did tell them yes but I was ready to make a statement at the time because I was worried it would make things escalate. I don’t know when I’ll learn things escalate regardless!
I will speak to local women’s center again tomorrow they’ve been great, I just feel like I haven’t left them alone haha.
Thanks for your reply xx
17th March 2019 at 12:35 pm #74371freedomtochooseBlocked
Well done for posting.
Just wanted to say. Do not send your kids this week. Stick to your ‘guns’ – stick to your ‘guns’ love. No need to send them.
I understand this pressure. Agreement is, as you have said. No need to even argue the case.
Stay safe. Well done for posting.
17th March 2019 at 12:36 pm #74372freedomtochooseBlocked
And dont’ forget I’m sure the women’s centre would rather you pestered them ten thousand times – than to have something untoward happen to you or kids.
well done, stay strong
17th March 2019 at 1:27 pm #74377KIP.Participant
Don’t send them. Have you thought about a place in a refuge? Speak to women’s aid. He sounds dangerous. Ring the police if he shows up, report the rape. You can get help if you reach out x he’s a liar so don’t believe a word he says x
18th March 2019 at 7:16 am #74403LisaMain Moderator
I just wanted to offer you some support, you are doing so well, i know it is a very scary time for you at the moment.
I agree with what the other ladies have been saying, you do not have to send your children to contact with him as it is likely that he will use that as a way to get you back as you mentioned he has used this tactic before.
If you haven’t already you can call 101 and get your mums house flagged with the police in case you need to call them on 999 if he turns up, by having the address flagged they should respond to the call as a priority.
I am glad to hear you are getting such good support from your local women’s centre, use them as much as you need during this time.
We are all here for you, take care and keep posting
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