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I live with my two children my eldest isn’t his but we have a baby together. He does not live with me but stays often. He’s an alcoholic and threatens to commit suicide daily as I’m the only family he has now. I’m exhausted after (detail removed by Moderator) abuse and he left almost too drunk to walk and DROVE home at (detail removed by Moderator) as I pretended to sleep with the baby and had 999 dialled on my phone ready to call just incase. I know this has to stop now it has gone to a place I never imagined. I’m scared all the time. I’m unable to set boundaries with him such as no drinking in my home or asking him to leave when he’s shouting/ swearing at me as I’m too scared of the backlash. I am in therapy. My friends and family know he is an alcoholic but don’t know about the abuse and I’m scared to tell them and disappoint them as I have been lieing about it for months. I don’t know how to tell him it’s over, safely and need some advice about keeping myself safe or what to do next. I have been through this with my first daughter which resulted in me getting an injunction but I do not have the strength for that at this time I just want it to stop.
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You need to tell your family and get everyone out of the house for now. Go somewhere safe then do it what you need do from afar. Let the police know/ get your locks changed and file for the injunction. Then go no contact. If your struggling feeling anxious and you will be ask for help. Your family the police and women’s aid are all there to support you. Make that call now and tell the closest o pop Erwin you trust xx we’re here too beat of luck and first foot forward. Make sure he Dosent know your plans
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Hi Butterfly10,
Great advice from diymum@1.
You are not alone. We are here for you too.
Sending love xx -
Im sorry you are going through this, i would inform your friends and family whoever you feel safe to do so with.
get intouch with your local womens aid or dv charity as they can advice you of help and support in your area, report all of the abuse, messages etc, they will give you a reference number to which you can add new issues and incidents which will form a clear picture of escalation incase of further issues.you can apply for a non molestation order- if you have messages or proof of harrassment of abuse, this is a court order stopping him from contacting you and keeping him away from your property,
a prohibited steps order will stop him trying to take the children, schools have no power to stop him taking his children out of school, unless you have a court order in place (so this is a good one to put in place early)it may seem petty, but report everything to police, even if it isnt an emergency, messages etc can be reported to your local station or on 101, and will be useful if he ever tries taking you to court in the future.
womens aid should have a number for a local solictor that they use and these emergency court orders can be applied for using legal aid.
i hope you stay safe and strong and wish you all the best
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