The after affects

[Safeatlast]

I can honestly say the thought of my ex doesnt cross my mind anymore which i thought that would never end. The problem now is me. I feel i cant accept offers for dates because i cant psyically do anythink without getting anxiety its like a fear of the unknown. I feel like my attitude and my reactions sometimes are too blunt or insulting. My whole body feels num. Sometimes though if my mind isnt distracted by postive thoughs when i go to bed i still can hear him shouting in my mind. When certain things songs or smells anythink reminds me of him i start to sweat i start breathing heavy and cant catch my breath.

[fizzylem]

This is the aftermath isnt it. V normal and expected, happens to most of us. I’m the same, couldnt think about being with anyone else right now. Its not the right time. Still too vulnerable. I also feel nothing for him and I can recall a time when my head was only filled with thoughts related to him, havent had this for a very long time now – took practice and alot of processing but got there; so we’ve both come a long way hey. This is the next step. I’m fousing on me now, gaining in confidence and assertiveness, and getting the life I want, also standing up to him, he’s not quite gone gone yet, as we have a child, but it shouldnt be long now fingers crossed. Guess what I’m saying is this next phase is about personal development, self awareness, building resiliance for life, if you have the life you love then you also know you will guard it and protect it with your life, meaning no one gets past security until they have been 100% passed and approved – still working on getting life how I want it but this is how I see the recovery. We’re not quite ready yet, when you feel independant, emotionally well and content being you, confident you can make sound decisions and feel ok to make a mistake as you know you’ll pull it back when you do, then you are ready x

[Forus l]

I wouldn’t push yourself to start dating again. It will happen when you feel ready.

At the moment you’re still dealing with the trauma and it takes time to heal.

Be kind to yourself. Talking to friends that understand or have experienced an abusive relationship may help you. I spoke to my cousin who had a similar experience to me and it greatly helped.. I tried talking to other friends who had never experienced something like this so it was hard for them to relate to it and it was very alien to them so finding someone who understands what you’re going through is important.

Do you have any friends your still in touch with? Have you been able to access any services for talking therapies?

Big hugs to you. X

[Author]

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