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Hi all, I wrote on here awhile ago, trying to flee from my situation but it turns out where I went wasn’t a good place to flee too so i had to return. My parner said he would change but never did. Since then I’ve became a nervous wreck, scared, feeling so weak, I don’t recognise myself.
He tells me what to do in everything I do, what to eat, i cant go out otherwise to him it means im going to buy cigarettes. I get screamed at for not always being able to keep up with the daily house chores. which he never helps, just looks at it and waits for me to do it. He says its none of his mess, (not that he doesn’t add to the c**p on the carpet, or washing clothes that need to be folded away or dishes that need to be washed etc) but yet when it’s his car, he treats it like his baby, cleaned and washed all the time, even gets anxious with people being in it! He shouts at me for my parenting skills, saying I need to be strict with my (detail removed by moderator) daughter because she’s (detail removed by moderator), to a degree that is true but I dont have anymore strength in me to set boundaries and stick to them as Everyday is a battle with him and it uses all my energy up constantly. He screams at me (detail removed by moderator) (which is absolutely not true) he says whist her dad is (detail removed by moderator), he is stuck with his responsibility. Calling my ex (detail removed by moderator) (wanting me to react) then threatening to (detail removed by moderator).Not long ago he was saying how my daughter’s dad had me at my best and still left me. Saying her dad (detail removed by moderator). (I know this isn’t true but it still hurts)
He starts outbursts and rages out of no where all the time, the other day he started shouting and saying (detail removed by moderator).(detail removed by moderator) we went to our local shop for food shopping and whilst we where there a (detail removed by moderator). It’s weird because I’m not sure if I even believed him that things would be different or that lingering anxiety feeling that I had to be with him. Please help me I’m at square one again
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Sometimes I wish I was a dog as I know he would treat me better. Most of the time
Monday to Friday normally consist of him working, playing computer games and wanting sex, either ignores me to the point I’m invisible or starts verbal attacks for no reason . The weekend is to ask me what to do and when I give him options he finds reasons to not want to to it, or just a straight up no. And we end up staying home.I need to add I gave up my employment a (detail removed by moderator) because of this situation as I couldn’t cope mentally anymore. Financially I’m screwed.
He hits himself, smashes things, he’s never hit me but I’m in constant fear because of the verbal outbursts but yet I don’t know how to leave with out him being abusive or even if I get out ok, how do i deal with that anxiety of impending doom that I will die with out him that makes me go back. I’ve been in this situation for (detail removed by moderator) -
My daughter came in the living room at (detail removed by moderator) worried she will get a detention because she had lost her home work so ask me and my parner if we could print it off for her. I asked my daughter why she had waited intill this time to tell me about it and she said she only just noticed as was checking her school bag was ready for tomorrow. (detail removed by moderator)
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He ask me not long ago if I was like this (detail removed by moderator) with my anxiety and I said no I was happy then he started saying how I was a (detail removed by moderator), he’s threatened to leave me many times, if I don’t have a baby with him, if I have anxiety. He says he knows he has a anger problem but at least he doesn’t cheat
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God reading this has brought back a few memories for me and I class my abuser as a psychopath 😑 he was the type off abuser who used abandonment as a threat over and over xx he played on my insecurities to the point once he lost his cigarettes he blamed me and made me rake the outside bins for them! He used degradation as his tool to tear me apart and compared me to other women often critical saying I didn’t match up xx how cruel these men are and inevitably you will be trauma bonded to him which is very powerful xx it’s not love it’s a toxic attachment. So you need to be pragmatic theses men usually discard us. No because we’re not good enough but because they’re driven by insecurities and they have zero integrity xx also my ex went on and did the same to each woman he met xx horrible horrible man. You need to call womens aid you need lots off support and for your health you need to go no contact xx it’s the only way. It took me 20 years to get the courage it was the best move I ever made. Take the plunge and know you will get better and heal from there xx you can go this x
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