The emotional aftermath

[Jellyx]

So I left my abusive relationship at the start of the year and left with my (removed by moderator) boys to a refugee. Things are hard I’m exhausted especially with lockdown however I think what I’m struggling with the most is the ability to treat myself right I feel like I’m constantly doubting myself and I wish I could smile and laugh like I used to. Sometimes I think I have some sort of PTSD from want I’ve been though but I’m just not sure. Ever feel like you just need a shoulder to cry on ? 😭 it was so hard to get out I stupidly thought when I leave I’ll get the old me back. But I’m still waiting for it, please tell me one day I’ll be somewhat me again ? xx
Sending lots of love and thanks to each and everyone of you ladies honestly reading your Stories helps me to see that I’m not alone in this and i can’t express what that does for me ❤️❤️❤️

[Anonymous]

It takes a long time. I’ve been free over a year and I’m still not totally back to me.

You probably have got ptsd. It’s not uncommon in people like us. Have you spoken to your gp?

[Hazydayz]

Hello Jellyx & Morning if your seeing this now? It has got to be a very difficult time for you right now? I never had my children in an abusive situation, so I guess that’s hard too! Being in a refuge after an abusive relationship and lockdown? It has to be a double whammy! But! Much better than where you were at before! I’m hoping for you. It’s now about adjustment yeah? And coming to terms with everything? And then there’s the children too! Managing to carve out some sort of new temporary life? Untill you get your new one, whenever that is? I imagine that comes with the allocation of a new home and after a settlement? Now is about the slow start to Unleashing the affects of the life you have all left behind I guess? Being able to move on and then suddenly one day… waking up happy! Having managed to forget? Because your enjoying the new, freedom and life at last? And because your home! Safe and secure and finding the new you’s. All of you will will likely never forget the darkness of where you came from but there is light at the end of the tunnel and you will emerge anew hopefully? How could you not? That life is left behind now, and bright new beginnings await! You will see a new you, you don’t yet know, you’ll see! Let her out of that hiding place she’s in right now and enjoy being her! she will allow you to laugh and smile again, share in her fun! Pretty soon, you’ll realise… she’s no stranger you have felt her round you many times before. Best of luck on your journey of discovery Jelly, much love to you too. Hazydayz x

[Jellyx]

Thank you for replying it means a lot I have considered going to my gp as I think I just need some help getting through this extremely difficult and emotional experience. Being in the place I am now is a million times better than before and if I stayed I would have had lockdown with him and that I don’t even hate thinking about ! I’m just waiting for my new place and new beginnings for me and the boys ! Sometimes just being positive is so hard as I feel like all I ever did was try to be positive only to end up where I am now. Keep looking forward with smiles I suppose x*x

[Lotus20]

Hi Jellyx

I hope you’re feeling better now.
I just want to say I feel exactly how you feel. I feel grateful for finally being out and being able to eat and sleep whilst being safe with my baby. However, I feel my brain is mashed up and blended. Something has happened to my brain, sort of PTSD as if I have no memory of what had happened..

I think is a part of the healing process, may be the initial shock and denial, before facing it and dealing with it.

All the best,

[Author]

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