The (detail removed by moderator) day

[marmaladechamp]

I survived the  weekend! There were some really tough moments and the grief and loss I feel is so overwhelming at times. It feels like a knife is being dragged across my heart. Even breathing feels heavy.

My weekend routine will probably become the norm for me now, lazy mornings with a pot of coffee. Food shop and meal prep for the week. Washing and life admin. The feelings of peace and calm I get from knowing that I will be able to do these things without worrying that my partner is going to be annoyed or irritated because I haven’t planned a weekend of activities for him is everything.

I still feel exhausted and mentally drained but that’s to be expected. My anxiety means that I either take hours to fall to sleep or I wake up in the middle of the night with my heart racing. I feel so consumed by this whole thing. Every second of the day I am thinking about the abuse and its aftermath. I’m trying to distract myself but its hard.

I’m looking forward to this week and getting into a routine again after the most difficult and stressful few weeks gone past.

I hope you have all had a nice weekend too.

X

[HunkyDory]

Your post made me smile, well done Marmaladechamp! You are handling this amazingly, you know the feelings to expect and are dealing with them. I (detail removed by moderator) still wake up with heart racing but not as often now. Your weekend routine sounds great, have you thought about doing some meditation to help calm your mind? Well done again! Xx

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