The Final Straw

[soxy]

Hello, I haven’t posted on here for a while. Still not left, but putting in a lot of work and i’m feeling much stronger than I did. I wondered, what was the final straw for you ladies who have gone to say enough is enough? I’m almost there to going, but I am still holding on for him to do or say something. That feeling is lessening, but I just wondered what was the turning/breaking point? x

[Twisted Sister]

hi Soxy

great to hear you are feeling stronger. Such a positive. Its so different for everyone, for some it can be a sudden pscyhological realisation, for others another physical attack. For me, it was one of my children that really snapped me out of one of his latest onslaughts when I heard the begging for him to stop. I suddenly felt like I’d been snapped out of a complete trance. I felt like I had been an android just stood there frozen, taking it all, until I heard my child’s voice which broke through the veil and reached me. It was over, there and then. Well, the abuse continued after separation of course, but it was the reality realisation I needed to break the trance I’d been in. A fear trance, or what you’d call frozen as opposed to fight or flight.

I don’t think it matters what triggers this sudden, or gradual, realisation, what matters is the realisation and what you do with it.

You don’t have to wait for anything. Nothing more needs to happen. You know now what you know and you will go when you are ready. Your new found strength is vital to keep you on track, and prevent him from drawing you back in, or doubting your own mind. Well done for all you’ve managed.

warmest wishes

ts

[soxy]

Thanks TS, I really appreciate you coming back to me. That’s so true, it doesn’t matter what the trigger/realisation is, it’s just that you see it and do something about it. It’s true I know what i know and I will do it, I feel more ready than I have in a long time. Just need to be brave and take the final leap. Thank you again and thank you for sharing your experience, I always find it encouraging here, we are a bunch of warriors, no matter where we are on our journeys. Thanks for all the support x

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Soxy

‘bunch of warriors’! You really do sound strong. Go you! amazing. you do it when you’re ready and its safe. Me, I’m no warrior, I am weak, and more than a little pathetic! Leastways thats what a WA worker told me, and I’m like an elephant, its imprinted on my memory. You keep up your strength, it will serve you well. xx

ts

[Dreamingoffreedom]

I was thinking of asking something similar! I know I need to leave and just taken the step of seeing a counsellor. My biggest fear is that I’ll never do it. I told her I felt like I was wasting my life and she replied with “that’s really sad.” It is, I know it is. What will be the final straw? When will enough be enough?

[Trying-to-heal]

For me, I reached a point where it was less painful to tolerate the brutal pain of leaving, and staying away, than it was to be with him. I also found he’d tried to encourage our adult children to take class A drugs, amongst a whole host of other things he used to get up to. I am DONE DONE!!!

I wish you well on your journey x*x

[Author]

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