The first day of the rest of my life

[RedFox]

Hello All,

Months ago, I was posting here. I felt trapped and didn’t know how to escape the situation.
Im now out… and it was only the moment the last financial link between us vanished that I finally felt free.

Sometimes I think of the past and i start feeling a bit sad. But it doesn’t last and i try to remember who he truly was. He was always in denial, making me feel crazy when I described some of his behaviours, as if I was painting him in a bad and false light to make myself feel better.
I now want to remember what he did, I don’t want to forgive him and feel I was crazy all the way. I don’t want to forget and believe it was in my head or it was just normal.
My other challenge will be to erase the deep damage he’s done. I don’t even know if I’ll ever be able to be intimate with someone again. I feel broken, physically and mentally.

But I am out and today is the first day of the rest of my life. I’ll re-build it the way I want and not the way I have to in order to avoid comments / jealousy / shouting / threats etc.

Thank you for the support I got from the people on this forum, i am very grateful of the help received by women’s aid, it is a wonderful organisation.
Good luck for all of you who are still fighting, don’t ever give up xx

[freedomtochoose]

Hello Red Fox,
This is a day of celebration. Well done to yourself and everyone who helped.
Your post gives me hope. I have been going through tough times recently due to kind of aftermath of abuse, even though it happened and I left it behind some years ago.
But the solidarity you are showing is lovely.

Together we can all do this.
I am so happy you made the move.
Join a very, very elite community. In the best sense of the word. The best and bravest of the best.
well done you

ftc
x

[RedFox]

Thank you ftc!
I am sorry to hear you are facing though times, take the time you need to get better and carry on getting the support you need for this.

This is all unfortunate and I wish things were different with my ex but I feel this horrible times have made me a better and wiser person. And I didn’t think I would have the strength to get out of this.
We can all be proud of ourselves for fighting the way we fight. I am sure all our abusers are bigger than us and scary but we are facing them and refusing the abuse.

[freedomtochoose]

thanks red fox, getting through it here,
I know that this year was better than last and so on…
babes is well,
we are still fighting
x

[lover of no contact]

Well done redfox. I remember you. So glad you got off the merry go round of abuse. Your getting away will keep hope going for all the ladies trying to break free. Enjoy your first few steps on the journey of life free from abuse, on the recovery path. The only way is up now. Celebrate and do something nice for yourself.

I liked this dedication to us:

To those who gathered the strength to fight back
To those determined to escape
To those who supported them to do this…

[lover of no contact]

Keep on fighting ladies to get out and to get away from the abusers.

Never give up.

[freedomtochoose]

well said lovelies
x

[RedFox]

Thank you 🙂

He has messaged me again. Normally it was very factual things so I replied (about the house or his stuff) but I haven’t opened those because they say that he misses me and would like to see me again.
I feel so uncomfortable and even bad for him for not opening them (I shouldn’t I know but I can’t help it, it’s not like I have totally healed and I have missed him a little at times…..).

[Author]

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