Viewing 13 reply threads
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    • #8388
      Chatterbox
      Participant

      Hi..I am a survivor of domestic abuse. My ex husband put me through hell, psychologically and physically. I was saved by Womens Aid who taught me, through the Freedom Programme, that I did not have to accept that kind of treatment.
      Finally I have met the most wonderful caring man and want to let anyone who is struggling to believe that these men exist know that they really do! He is my best friend. Trustworthy, open, supportive and non violent. I adore him.
      Please, if you are reading this, take strength from knowing that – once you learn to recognise the signs – you can walk free from an abuser before they have chance to take hold of your life. I did. And Im grateful to the bottom of my heart to Womens Aid and to The Freedom Programme. It helped me to be the driver in my life – not the passenger
      Good luck and much love to you all x

    • #8389
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Hi Chatterbox

      So pleased you have moved on and found some one nice. I have a long way to go before I’m ready but it gives us hope.

      FSxx

    • #8397
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Chatterbox, thanks for sharing your positive outcome with us.

      Best wishes

      Lisa

      Forum Moderator

    • #8399
      foggyhere
      Participant

      Hey, that’s brilliant!! Thank you so much for sharing that.

    • #8429
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hey hun

      THxs for sharing with us, gives us all hope , happy for u

    • #8452
      mixed-up mum
      Participant

      Hi Chatterbox – how good it is to hear this – this is what I wanted to hear – from someone who had been through it all and come out the other side.

      I just wanted to know if it is possible to love again and to be loved again……and if there really truely are decent men out there?????

      If you read my post “bit better today” in Life After An Abusive Relationship you will see my current situation and how I’m feeling right now.

      I have the impression from other ladies that I’m not yet ready for a relationship and to keep away from men…..

      I’m not wanting someone to sleep with, and I’m not talking about moving him in – all I want is a bit of companionship, company of an evening, just to know I could go and see him, for a chat and a coffee, or even if we just sat and watched TV together – just having another dimension to my life besides working and being a mother – just to have someone who WANTED to spend time with me – someone who actually enjoyed my company – I don’t want anything else from him – In don’t want him taking me out for fancy meals and things like that – no – all I desire is his presence and his companionship.
      Just something to give me a bit of ‘spark’ back in my life, a reason to get up – a reason to take pride in my appearance again – at the moment I feel so old and frumpy and ‘past it’ like no man will ever be interested in me ever again.

      I don’t want to end up like me mam – her and dad split up more than 35 years ago – and in all that time she had never had a relationship – me and my sister grew up and left home and she is now all alone every day and every evening – I don’t want to be like that – I’m mid forties – with teenage kids – they won’t be here for ever and I don’t want to be alone and lonely……

      I have not done freedom programme – but I think I would be able to recognise abusive behaviour if it ever happened to me again – and I would not hang around to be treated like that ever again….

      Your post had give me a reason to hope that there ARE good men out there, and there IS hope of a happy relationship again one day……..

    • #8459
      Savingmyself
      Participant

      Yay look forward to meeting mine x*x

    • #8479
      Hopesprings
      Participant

      This is terrific news. So happy for you x*x

    • #8564
      one day at a time
      Participant

      So good to know there are good guys out there chatterbox. Hope your relationship goes from strength to strength!
      I work with a woman who left her abusive partner years ago but has also met a genuinely nice guy, a real gentleman and friend.
      Thanks for sharing. Gives me hope that all men aren’t abusive. Xx

    • #8628
      myfairyqueen
      Participant

      Oh yes – this has happened to me too. I can be myself and it’s just the most amazing feeling and this is just the start!

    • #8729
      Chatterbox
      Participant

      To mixed up Mum
      I think you are very wise to take your time. It is perfectly possible to have a male companion and , if you let him know from the outset that you need to take things very slowly, a man worth his salt will respect and support that decision. One of the lessons I had to learn was to stop worrying about what he might want and ask myself “what do I WANT”? once you get back into the habit of putting yourself first you are on the right path. Be true to YOURSELF first and foremost. The rest will follow. Finally, allow yourself the time and space to rediscover yourself. Its so easy to forget who we are underneath the mountain of committments life throws at us. You will know when youve got the right man by the way…you will feel calm inside. Being constantly subjected to abuse leaves us fraught and tense, but in the right relationship there is no tension. Just calm respect and communication. It took me a while to trust the feeling. I kept asking ‘ is this where it all goes wrong again’?….but – two years on Im happier than Ive ever been. More importantly I know that I created that happiness by learning to love myself. Good things will follow – I promise x*x

    • #8733
      martian29
      Participant

      Thanks for sharing your post. It gives us all some hope. I hope we can all move on one day and meet someone who will treat us with love and respect. I am so pleased for you XX

    • #8734
      Moon
      Participant

      Hi
      That has really made me smile and gives me hope that this rollercoaster that I’m on will end one day.
      I’m so happy for you and you deserve every special moment xx

    • #8764
      Confused123
      Participant

      HI

      It really is nice to hear how u moved on and ladies i just wanted to say i know we think all men out there r so evil, i havent met mr right yet myself but what im slowly learing is there r loads of abusers out there but there r also so many men out there who r decent, we just got to find them, dont give up, recover yourself too and when time is right mr right will come to us too,

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