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All the advice about getting stronger and looking forward just feels like another punch to the stomach ☹️
My Dad is getting weaker and weaker and we have been asked our views on a DNR and to think about his end of life care plan this week.
I always thought when the time came for my Dad to pass I would have my exes support – have spent the last 6 months being told ‘I’ve got your back, you won’t be by yourself when it happens etc etc’ – I feel so lonely and so scared of what my Dads death is going to do to me now I’m on my own 😢 every day feels like a monumental struggle and I just want to go to sleep and now wake up -
Imissme
Big hug to you!
Life is cruel sometimes, but everything changes. You won’t be in this situation forever, your present some day will be the past.
It is difficult and painful to loose your closest relatives, especially the parents.
We all hope to get some support from our 2nd half too.
When my dad died I went on funeral to my native country alone with 2 very young kids (1 of them was baby). I’ve had friends and family’s support there. While being there and talking to my husband via Skype I told something wrong. I don’t remember what exactly, something about the money probably.
In a result, when I arrived to the airport here, he was meeting me, but didn’t tell a word to me! he was not talking to me for a several days punishing me for my “wrong words”. I have just buried my father, I was crying for a week non-stop, and I got Zero support from him.
I think now it is too much painful when you hope for support and you don’t get it, than if there is no a man behind you.
Take care, everything will pass, and this as well. x -
Sorry to hear about your dad.
Get support from someone else than your abuser because he will definitely drop you and ignore you when you will need support the most. I don’t want to sound harsch but if you manage your expectations from him you will turn to someone else to find support and comfort and be at your side during this though time.My grandma, which was like a mother to me, her health got worse and worse and while still in the relationship with him I have told him I have got to see her, it may be the last time. He said don’t expect me to come to the funerals in case she’s dying, because he finds funerals something quite depressing to go to. I was shocked at his careless words and lack of support. Once I catched my breath, I decided to take his word for it and organised other support from family members. My grandma passed away few months later and I indeed went to the funerals without him. I had the support of family and didn’t miss him.
Wishing you lots of strength during this time and hope you’ll find support from friends and family.
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Hi and hugs, please accept my love at this hard time for you.
I lost my Mum soon after I was free, there has been times I wished he was there but it would have been all about him.
My Mum knew more than I thought of my life with him as I expect your Dad does and I know it gave her comfort to know I was out of it. I hope that this will give you some comfort.
Take every day at a time, don’t be hard on yourself. Please post, the ladies here gave me support and comfort.
FS x
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Hey there I’m going through something very similar. If I was still with my ex I wouldn’t be free to help and spend quality time with my dad like I do now. My ex hated my attention going anywhere but at him and when he sensed I was fragile he would go straight for the jugular. You will get through this with the help of people who truly care. You don’t need an anchor round your neck right now which is what abusers are. You’re stronger than you know. Stronger each day. It might not seem like it but we grow with adversity x
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Unfortunately my Dad has very limited mental capacity due to brain damage and dementia following 3 strokes, he’s 3 hour away from me in a high security mental health facility, the whole situation is so hard.
He loves my now ex, has known him a long time and obviously I can’t explain to him what’s going on so he’s oblivious to it all.
I’ve seen him just once since ex left and will hopefully see him again in a few weeks, I have to rely on my brother to take me as I don’t drive – visiting is very hard now I’m Aline too as he always came with me and supported me as he’s always a very long, emotional day.
I know you’re all right though – looking back the last discard started around the same time my Dad was sectioned and moved so far away as I became very down and distracted and my focus has been elsewhere. Long term he wouldn’t have supported me anyway, after all it’s not about him is it so it.
I’m just having a really bad week following the last visit to dad, would love someone just to put their arms around me like he used to and tell me it’ll all be alright 😕 -
Sorry about all the typos, I’m tired, I’m emotional and I’m in need of smaller thumbs I think :/
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