The long term damage from beatings

[Sunshines]

Hi

I am constantly worrying about the longterm damage that my ex may have done to the inside of my body. I don’t think headshots and stomach blows repeatedly can be good for your longterm health. I have anxiety over the amount of times i was hit in the head by my ex. I’m scared to go and tell a doctor the full extent of the blows ive suffered from the beatings he gave me.

Has anyone else left themselves untreated ?
I asked one doctor for help and she wasn’t nice at all so it’s put me off completely. Considering Also I can’t sleep right through a night I wake up several times thinking about what went on. I’m on anti depressants but I’m worried about my health.

Xx

[Weemebreeze]

Hi Sunshines, I’m so sorry to hear what you went through. I also didn’t seek medical treatment after physical assault for loads of reasons (shame, fear, misplaced loyalty, minimising the abuse) but I very recently reached out to my gp (months after I left) and it was the best thing I could have done. She has a lovely manner and spent several appointments with me listening to all the abuse and what I went through. She referred me for head x-rays as fractures etc can be picked up up to three years later. I’ve also been given a mental health nurse who phones me once a month and she referred me to a charity specialising in trauma. Help is definitely there and it’s never too late. Once you find a female gp who makes you feel you can talk freely it will help put your mind at ease. Good luck x

[KIP.]

What you’re feeling is what most of us on here have probably gone through. I know I did. I spoke to my GP and have had various scans to rule out what they can. However your anxiety if it’s anything like mine will make you catastrophise. So little health issues or no health issues become huge. I think for me it was a coping mechanism. If I worry about my physical health I won’t have to face the horrific things my ex did mentally. Have you had counselling? That really helped me. Read up on cognitive behaviour therapy. There’s a good book I used. I will try and find the title. The Body Keeps The Score is a good book about trauma and retained trauma can affect our physical health. Healing from Hidden Abuse is also a good book. It’s going to take time to heal your mind and you can start today doing that with mindfulness and just being kind to yourself.

[KIP.]

Mind over mood. That’s the book I liked but there are plenty to search from. It’s difficult to open up about abuse. Try writing down what you want the GP to look at and how you feel and hand her the letter. I had to do this to the police because I was so traumatised.

[Sunshines]

I feel like if I tell the doctor what went on they might do a referral or report it. Even though I’m out of the relationship I worry for my children.

Thank you for your replies I will try find a doctor that maybe I can tell all to without being in fear of referrals left right and centre.

Thank you 😊 x*x

[KIP.]

The doctor Will only tell if you or your children are in danger now. They have a duty of care to you. If you’re out of the relationship then it’s confidential. You don’t have to mention the name of the perpetrator you could be vague and tell them the areas you were harmed in and that you would like some information about potential long term harm. Plus any symptoms you may have x my physical symptoms came from my mental anxiety x

[KIP.]

Talk to your local women’s aid. Perhaps they have further information and contacts for you and could support you and the kids if you need help.

[Sunshines]

Thank you for your advice ladies hope you are all well x*x

[Author]

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