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    • #19268
      Alicenotichains
      Participant

      Wow! That explains a lot!! The chapter in this book I am reading (thank you HA) says that when you are subject to a manipulative shift after the initial idealising period the power is seized by the controlling person and then the intermittent hot and cold keeps you hooked. So I am not completely bonkers then- this emotional and psychological hook to this n*****e ex has been created by him?! That is why I am so affected by him- even though it makes no logical sense and I know I deserve better.

      The knowledge and support on this site is life saving. Your words and shared experiences contain huge power- thank you ladies Xxxx

    • #19270

      Dear Alice, so so pleased your reading this info, these books shone light on the craziness I was going through. Last night I heard about another book immediately available & free to read on Amazon re covert manipulation, I think that I gave you the name of it, if not let me know. My ex’s behaviour affected my core self worth/ self esteem/ feelings about my base personality, the very depths of someone’s personality, he got that deep into my soul with these sick games. BUT – I can vouch, there is a way to overcome it. Read read read, stay firmly away, offload in full on here.

    • #19271
      Serenity
      Participant

      Yes- been through that. The pain of them being ‘loving’ then treating you like you aren’t even human.

    • #19275
      Alicenotichains
      Participant

      Yes- I want to reverse this trauma bond. If I could break free from it then the situation would be over x

    • #19277
      Serenity
      Participant

      It does break- or lessen- with time. I can vouch for this.

      X*x

    • #22809

      Oh yes, throwing in a crumb of goodness among the abuse to keep you confused and guessing. Intermittent reinforcement.

    • #22818

      Powerful yet so atrocious…i too read lots. I need to learn why I can’t decide to leave…

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